Duke-Notre Dame Winner To Be #2 in Next Week's Coaches Poll

Much ridicule has been heaped on tomorrow afternoon’s football matchup in South Bend. Notre Dame will host visiting Duke, with the Fighting Irish and Blue Devils each sporting 1-9 records. With the possible exception of Minnesota, tomorrow’s loser will carry the title of worst BCS team in the nation. However, now the victor will claim a less dubious honor. Saturday’s winner will be voted #2 in next week’s USA Today Coaches Poll.


This development comes on the heels of last night’s defeat by the current #2, Oregon, at the hands of Arizona. Hampered by the first quarter loss of Heisman Trophy candidate Dennis Dixon, as well as two return touchdowns by Wildcat Antoine Cason, the Ducks fell 34-24 in Tucson. For the fourth straight November, the Wildcats knocked off a ranked opponent in Arizona Stadium. Given that level of success during the month, the program is now looking into the possibility of playing during September and October as well.


Oregon joined USC, California, South Florida, and Boston College as second-ranked teams to fall since October 6. Given the “Curse of Number 2,” numerous coaches felt it would be appropriate to put the Irish or Devils into that spot. As one coach remarked, “The #2 team is pretty much guaranteed to lose. Well, the same thing is true for Notre Dame and Duke. So why waste that bad karma on a good team?”


The agreement among the coaches will only be in effect for one week, so there does not appear to be any danger of either team sneaking into the BCS National Championship Game. As one coach noted, “You saw what happened last year, when Notre Dame took on LSU WITH Brady Quinn and Jeff Samardzija. If that happened THIS year? I mean, hasn’t New Orleans seen ENOUGH destruction?”


Still, if the Irish rise to the second spot in the upcoming week, the Curse of #2 will have come full circle. It began when second-ranked USC was stunned by Stanford, led by first-year head coach Jim Harbaugh. Notre Dame could also take on the Cardinal as the #2 team next week. Commenting on Harbaugh, Irish coach Charlie Weis remarked, “Wow, I got a 10-year extension for ALMOST beating USC my first year. He actually won, so what did he get? 40 years?” A nearby Golden Domer added, “It’s incredible that Stanford even won a game this year. Tyrone Willingham was there just six years ago!”


#2 could be a far more unusual position for Duke. Even Steve Spurrier only votes them 25th in the pre-season poll. However, the Blue Devils could be second-ranked for the next week’s UNC-Duke football showdown, billed in previous years as “The Reason John Bunting Won’t Go Winless!” Duke coach Ted Roof has gotten permission from Mike Krzyzewski to add Gerald Henderson to the roster for that game, since he knows that Henderson has no problem hitting Tar Heels in Chapel Hill.


Before the announcement that the #2 ranking would be on the line, the Duke – Notre Dame game was a matchup only Dick Vitale could love. Saturday’s broadcast could be the worst thing on NBC since Veronica’s Closet. However, the new stakes have increased interest among the schools’ alumni. Hearing that Duke will be involved in a late-season matchup with something on the line, J.J. Redick has announced plans to show up and shoot 4-for-19.


Yes, Duke or Notre Dame will get to enjoy being #2 for a week. Down the road, if form holds, the national championship matchup will pit LSU against the Big XII champion. Of course, “if form holds” is the second-most laughable phrase in college football this year. What’s #1? The “Play Like A Champion Today” sign at Notre Dame Stadium.

Notre Dame & Other NBC Shows

In a matchup of proud but struggling programs, Michigan throttled Notre Dame 38-0 on Saturday. While the Wolverines hope the victory turns around their season, the Fighting Irish are left to wallow in the misery of an 0-3 start. The Golden Domers famously have a broadcast agreement with NBC for their home games. These days, the action from South Bend bears no resemblance to the high-level NFL games featured by the network on Sunday nights. But how do the Irish stack up with NBC shows on other nights? Here’s a look at the network’s fall lineup, and how those titles relate to the team.


MONDAY:

8:00: Chuck: Coach Charlie Weis, or the upchucking he’s been doing after games.

9:00: Heroes: People who are nowhere to be found at Notre Dame Stadium.

10:00: Journeyman: Another term for Midshipman – someone who actually has a shot at the Irish this year.

TUESDAY:

8:00: The Biggest Loser: What ND will be on October 20, when USC comes to town.

9:00: The Singing Bee: A Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket, after his team’s 33-3 domination in South Bend.

10:00: Law & Order: SVU: Riots that would take place on the campus of victorious Southern Virginia University (SVU), if only they got to play the Irish.

WEDNESDAY:

8:00 (Also Friday at 8:00): Deal or No Deal: Phrase frequently uttered by ND fans as they look to unload their tickets.

9:00: Bionic Woman: A reminder of the late 1970s – something the program could really use.

10:00: Life: Something the offense desperately needs.

THURSDAY:

8:00: My Name Is Earl: What babbling former coach Lou Holtz is saying right now in the ESPN studio.

8:30: 30 Rock: The team’s first three games, in which the Irish have gotten rocked by an average of 30.

9:00: The Office: Where ND alumni are getting abuse from co-workers every Monday morning.

9:30: Scrubs: Players who only see action in blowouts, also known as games vs. Notre Dame.

10:00: ER: As opposed to “Wake Up the Echoes,” it’s an abbreviation for “Echoes Resting.”

FRIDAY:

9:00: Friday Night Lights: Like ND home games, it’s an NBC broadcast that focuses on a high school football team.

10:00: Las Vegas: Where the Irish want to play their games, since what happens there, stays there.

NFL Snubs Jacksonville, Invites Notre Dame To Playoffs

The Jacksonville Jaguars completed a 12-4 regular season with a 40-13 rout of Tennessee on Sunday.  Often ignored by the national sports media, the Jaguars planned on earning everyone’s respect with a postseason victory in New England this Saturday.  However, the NFL has denied them that opportunity.  The league passed over Jacksonville in order to grant Notre Dame a wild card berth in the AFC playoffs.

 

 

The decision shocked most observers, considering that wild card invitations were believed to be granted to NFL non-division winners with the best records.  A league spokesman noted that that method has been followed each year as a matter of tradition.  However, a little-known provision in the league bylaws dictates that only division winners receive automatic postseason bids.  Also, the NFL must invite Notre Dame to the playoffs if it finishes in the top 6 of the BCS rankings.  The Irish squeaked in at #6, earning quarterback Brady Quinn a bid to Wimbledon and the Masters as well.  The league chose Pittsburgh for the other at-large spot in the AFC.

 

 

Television ratings appear to be behind the NFL’s decision.  Notre Dame will travel to New England for a Saturday night game on ABC.  The matchup provides a compelling storyline as Irish head coach Charlie Weis takes on the team he helped to three Super Bowl titles as offensive coordinator.  The Golden Domers are sure to draw larger ratings than the relatively anonymous Jaguars, who had zero appearances on “Monday Night Football” this season.  An ABC executive even referred to Jacksonville tailback Fred Taylor as Fred Sanford.  Then he performed his rendition of the “Sanford and Son” theme song, which will run through your head long after you’re finished with this article.

 

 

This latest slap in the face is yet another example of disrespect toward the Jaguars.  Despite the team’s 12-4 record, defensive tackle Marcus Stroud is its lone representative on the Pro Bowl roster.  The San Diego Chargers, at 9-7, are sending six players to Hawaii.  Jacksonville wide receiver Jimmy Smith has been to five previous Pro Bowls and is seventh all-time in NFL receptions, but he is far less famous than many of his contemporaries.  Asked for his thoughts on the longtime star, a league official responded, “Jimmy Smith is great!  I love ‘The West Wing,’ and I hope he wins the election over Alan Alda.”

 

 

Particularly infuriating to the franchise is that Notre Dame is not even the best team in college.  An NFL spokesman explained that the USC-Texas winner could not take on the Patriots due to the short turnaround after Wednesday’s Rose Bowl.  However, Ohio State dominated the Irish with 617 yards of offense in its 34-20 Fiesta Bowl victory.  While impressed with the Buckeyes, the spokesman noted that OSU head coach Jim Tressel has never worked with Bill Belichick of the Patriots.  Therefore, Tressel cannot provide an angle as interesting as the mentor/disciple relationship between Belichick and Weis.  “Besides,” added the spokesman, “Tressel’s sweater vests are really lame.”

 

 

Notre Dame is unlikely to provide much resistance to the defending champs, who are 9-0 in the postseason with Tom Brady at quarterback.  However, the Irish are happy about one thing.  Brady won’t be throwing to Ted Ginn Jr. and Santonio Holmes.

Navy To Sink Streak in South Bend

Ending long sports droughts has been in vogue since last October, with the Red Sox and White Sox capturing World Series titles and Roy Williams getting the monkey off his back with a national championship.  College football has continued the trend this fall.  Two weeks ago, Rutgers won its sixth game, qualifying for its first bowl appearance since 1978.  Last Saturday, Kansas snapped a 36–game losing streak to Nebraska with a 40–15 rout of the Cornhuskers.  With no end in sight for this drought-busting momentum, Notre Dame is doomed against Navy this Saturday.

 

The Fighting Irish have beaten the Midshipmen a record 41 consecutive times.  Navy’s last victory came in 1963, as Heisman Trophy winner Roger Staubach quarterbacked a 35–14 triumph.  Back then, the famed Touchdown Jesus outside Notre Dame Stadium was still in a manger.  John Huarte turned the tables in 1964, leading Notre Dame to victory and winning a Heisman of his own.  Navy players vowed that the next time the prestigious trophy went to a Midshipman, they would dominate against the Irish.  They’re still waiting.

 

Notre Dame’s resurgence under first-year head coach Charlie Weis has been well-documented.  As an alumnus of the school and offensive coordinator of three Super Bowl champions in New England, Weis seems a perfect fit to wake up the echoes in South Bend.  The Irish are 6–2, with a certain BCS bowl bid awaiting them if they defeat Navy, Syracuse, and Stanford as expected.

 

However, all the odds are against the Fighting Irish this Saturday (if you ignore the actual odds, making them 23 1/2 point favorites).  First, having an alumnus coach them against Navy is just asking for a loss.  The last season in which a Notre Dame graduate led the Irish was 1963 – the very same year of their last setback to the Midshipmen.  After that season, Hugh Devore was replaced by Ara Parseghian, who began a 41–year trend of non-Golden Domers coaching the Irish to wins over Navy.  The administration in South Bend not only tempted fate by hiring Weis, but they recently ensured future defeats in the series by granting the new coach a contract extension.

 

Another reason that an upset looks inevitable can be found by observing the famous “USC-Navy Effect.”  In each of the past three years, by taking Notre Dame’s composite scores against USC and Navy, the Irish wind up with a deficit.  Due in small part to the Trojans’ 31–point victories in 2002, 2003, and 2004, Notre Dame’s composite scores against USC and Navy in those seasons were 43–67, 41–69, and 37–50, respectively.  Assuming the trend holds, given USC’s narrow 34–31 win in South Bend, the Irish can do no better than a 2–point victory on Saturday.  Or more likely, taste bitter defeat.

 

Finally, while Weis is widely regarded as an offensive genius, the Naval Academy was created for the purpose of – lest we forget – defense!  Midshipmen are trained to protect the nation against dangerous threats abroad, terrorism on our soil, and all threats to the American way of life.  Will defending against Brady Quinn and Jeff Samardzija really intimidate them?

 

If Notre Dame does somehow defy reason and extend the streak, Navy can still become bowl-eligible next week by defeating Temple, known as “a bye week in shoulder pads.”  However, don’t count on that scenario to be necessary.  The Fighting Irish are still holding onto those BCS dreams  for dear life.  But after Saturday, it’s likely “Gator Bowl or bust!”