Monday, October 22, 2007

Boston vs. Colorado: A World Series Breakdown

The 2007 World Series is set, with the Colorado Rockies taking on the Boston Red Sox at Fenway Park on Wednesday night. The Sox have championship experience and far more tradition, while the Rocks are on a historic roll. So who has the edge? Even if you can’t distinguish between a Youkilis and a Tulowitzki, here’s a detailed breakdown to prepare you for the Fall Classic.

Inspirational Nicknames: A Red Sock has already helped Boston in a championship run. But a Rocky took down Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, and Ivan Drago. Advantage: Colorado

Noted Ballpark Features: What gets you more excited: the Green Monster or a humidor? Advantage: Boston

College Hail Marys: Colorado had Kordell Stewart against Michigan, and Boston College had Doug Flutie versus Miami. So there’s “Heisman winner Doug Flutie” and “teammate of Heisman winner Rashaan Salaam.” Advantage: Boston

City Nicknames: It’s Beantown versus the Mile High City. No one ever brags about joining the Bean Club. Advantage: Colorado

Robin Williams: He became famous with Mork and Mindy, set in Colorado. But going to Boston for Good Will Hunting got him an Oscar. How do you like dem apples? Advantage: Boston

Drew Effect: The Rockies have already taken down Arizona’s Stephen Drew, so keeping J.D. Drew off the bases shouldn’t be a problem. Unless there’s a contract offer waiting at one of those bases. Advantage: Colorado

Dennys: Denny Neagle was one of many free-agent pitchers who flopped in Colorado. But Boston Legal’s Denny Crane is worth every penny. Denny Crane! Advantage: Boston

Schilling Trend: Curt Schilling has World Series experience with, in order, Philadelphia, Arizona, and Boston. In the postseason, the Rockies have beaten the Phillies, then the Diamondbacks. It’s like his whole career has been designed for a Rockies championship. Advantage: Colorado

NHL: If the Stanley Cup is any indication, the Colorado Rockies can’t win a championship unless they change their name to the New Jersey Devils. Advantage: Boston

Hills: Boston is home to historic Beacon Hill and Bunker Hill, while Colorado has first base coach Glenallen Hill. Advantage: Boston

Top Hitters: David Ortiz has had numerous playoff heroics. But “Holliday” is a name befitting a celebration, or at least a Madonna song. Advantage: Colorado

1993 Effect: Now in their first World Series, the Rocks entered the majors with the Florida Marlins. So 1993 expansion teams are 2-0 in the Fall Classic. Advantage: Colorado

2003 Effect: Then again, Josh Beckett had a little something to do with that second Marlins title. Advantage: Boston

Don Baylor Playoff Moments: Often forgotten is that Baylor’s 9th-inning home run versus the Angels set the stage for Dave Henderson’s Sox-saving dinger in 1986. Also forgotten is that the Baylor-managed 1995 Rockies were even in the playoffs. Advantage: Boston

Scrabble: In basic letter values, “Colorado Rockies” gets you 24 points, compared to 22 for “Boston Red Sox.” Advantage: Colorado

Youngs: The Rockies had Eric, whereas the Sox had Cy. Maybe someday there will be an Eric Young Award, but for now… Advantage: Boston

Oh Canada!: Colorado ace Jeff Francis and Boston reliever Eric Gagne are both from north of the border. And both are considered assets for the Rockies. Advantage: Colorado

Annoying Catchphrases: “Rocktober” is already getting old, but it has a long way to be as overdone as “Manny Being Manny.” Advantage: Colorado

Envy: Colorado is Spanish for “Red,” and the Rockies’ AAA affiliate in Colorado Springs is known as the Sky Sox. Looks like the organization is a bunch of Red Sox wanna-bes. Advantage: Boston

Tallying up the results, it’s Boston 10, Colorado 9. So the Red Sox’ long title drought since 2004 will finally come to an end.