Saturday, May 27, 2006

How Athletes Relate To Enron

In this week’s top business story, former Enron heads Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were convicted of numerous counts of securities and wire fraud. The disgraced energy company’s most prominent connection to the sports world was the Houston Astros’ Enron Field, now known as Minute Maid Park. Athletes still relate to Enron in other ways, as shown by the following list.

Lance Armstrong: Cocky, cold-blooded Texan

BCS: Discloses complicated information no one really understands

Barry Bonds: Most high-profile offender from a scandal-ridden era

Eric Crouch: Never emerged again after bottom fell out in late 2001

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: “Little E” (like “The Crooked E”)

Ozzie Guillen: Brought heartbreak to the city of Houston

Rickey Henderson: Best of all-time at stealing

Sandy Koufax: Caused power shortages in California

Jim Larranaga: Ended things for Rashad Anderson (as Enron did for Arthur Andersen)

Ryan Leaf: Fell unbelievably far from blue-chip status

Warren Moon: Could not stop notorious Houston collapse (Oilers’ playoff loss to Bills)

Alex Rodriguez: Has impressive-looking numbers with no real substance

Steve Spurrier: Antagonizes the SEC

Isiah Thomas: Famous #11 – like Enron’s Chapter

Ben Wallace: A leader in energy

Sentencing for Lay and Skilling is scheduled for September 11. After that, their new home will be familiar territory for another famous athlete: Mike Tyson.