Walk Hard: Sports Variations

Starring John C. Reilly and Jenna Fischer, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story comes out today in theatres. As you’re no doubt aware, the movie provides a comedic take on musical biopics such as Walk the Line. But what if Dewey Cox had been a sports figure, instead of a musician? Here are ten possible storylines and titles:


While on the mound, Dewey faces Barry Bonds: Intentional Walk Hard

On the mound again, Dewey tries to pick off Jose Reyes: Balk Hard

Dewey fills in during Dick Vitale’s sabbatical: Talk Hard

Dewey has an MVP season for the Rams: Faulk Hard

During the bye week that season, Dewey develops a polio vaccine: Salk Hard

Dewey sits near Jessica Simpson at a Cowboys game: Gawk Hard

Dewey follows her home after the game: Stalk Hard

Dewey reacts after his team is left out of the BCS National Championship Game: Squawk Hard

Dewey works on the Wimbledon grounds crew: Chalk Hard

Dewey plays hoops in Lawrence: Rock Chalk Jayhawk Hard