Sunday, November 13, 2005

Alexander To Donate Touchdowns To Bama

Quite often in the sports world, we only seem to hear the negative stories.  Tune in to Sportscenter, and you’re likely to be told about arrests, holdouts, drug scandals, and feuding teammates.  However, one of the NFL’s biggest stars is showing that professional athletes can display enormous generosity.  Seattle running back Shaun Alexander has announced plans to donate a portion of his touchdowns to his alma mater, the Alabama Crimson Tide.


Alexander has been a scoring machine for the Seahawks, with 17 touchdowns through the first nine games of the season.  He set an NFL record with his fifth consecutive year with at least 15 touchdowns.  The league record of 27 in a season, set by Priest Holmes in 2003, seems well within reach.


In contrast, Alabama has found it quite difficult to put points on the board.  The Tide has only scored two offensive touchdowns in its past four SEC matchups, leading one observer to remark, “Even Mapquest won’t help them find the end zone.”  Thanks to its dominating defense, Bama did manage to remain undefeated until a crushing overtime loss to LSU on Saturday.  The offensive struggles are exasperating to head coach Mike Shula, who ironically was hired after predecessor Mike Price did too much scoring.


Seeing his old school in need, Alexander decided to take action.  “I have plenty of touchdowns to spare,” he noted.  “So why not give back to some people who could really use them?”  The donation would not have seemed necessary earlier in the season, as the Tide scored 37 and 31 points in routs of South Carolina and Florida, respectively.  However, due in part to a season-ending injury to star wideout Tyrone Prothro, the offense has been in dire straits for the past month.  Practices often have to finish early as the stalwart defense leaves the offensive players in tears.


Alexander’s contributions will be welcomed with open arms in Tuscaloosa.  Ideally they can be applied retroactively.  In that case, the LSU defeat would be reversed, and the Tide would vault back into the national title chase.  However, if such a request is denied, Bama fans will gladly accept as many touchdowns as possible for next weekend’s Iron Bowl showdown at Auburn.  “Shaun’s example has shown us the best in human nature and encouraged all of us to reach out to our fellow man,” noted one Tide supporter.  “So now we can go and beat the snot out of Auburn!  I just hate that school and everything about it!”


With the Seahawks in first place at 7–2, Alexander is a prime candidate for NFL MVP.  However, he doesn’t just warm the hearts of Fantasy Leaguers.  He also makes dreams come true in Tuscaloosa.