Saturday, December 16, 2006

Christmas Characters' Sports Counterparts

Athletes have often been compared to Christmas figures, even going back to the story of the Nativity. Mark Messier was The Messiah, and A.C. Green was the Virgin. There have been plenty of wise men – just none affiliated with the Arizona Cardinals.

Today’s athletes also relate to the secular Christmas icons. I made a list and checked it twice. Grab some egg nog and read on…

Santa Claus: Greg Oden. He’s a big man who wears a red uniform and came onto the scene in December.

Rudolph: Kobe Bryant. People say he doesn’t fit in with the others. But he can really light it up.

Dasher: Devin Hester

Dancer: Chad Johnson

Prancer: Terrell Owens

Vixen: Maria Sharapova

Comet: Sheryl Swoopes. Of the Houston Comets.

Cupid: Davis Love III

Donner: Pat Riley. Like Richard Donner, Riley directs Superman – when he’s healthy.

Blitzen: Shawne Merriman

The Grinch: Kenny Rogers. He was a mean one, but in October his heart grew three sizes.

Ebeneezer Scrooge: Alex Rodriguez. He’s rich as can be, no one seems to love him, and he’s haunted by ghosts from the past.

Tiny Tim: Tim Dwight

George Bailey: Vladimir Guerrero. He helps a guardian Angel (Mike Scioscia) achieve his goals.

Frosty: Allen Iverson. His relationship with the 76ers.

Notice that college football was not featured above. Because it can’t truly be “the most wonderful time of the year” until we get rid of the BCS.