Saturday, January 06, 2007

Cowher's Replacement: Some Not-So-Obvious Choices

Friday represented the end of an era for the Pittsburgh Steelers, as Bill Cowher resigned after 15 seasons as head coach. Much of the early speculation about his successor has centered on Pittsburgh assistants Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm. However, many other less obvious candidates would make sense for the Steelers. Here is a rundown.

Peter Angelos: As the Orioles’ owner, he knows how to keep a Baltimore team from winning.

Bobby Bowden: Cowher was preceded by a Noll, so why not succeed him with a Nole?

Larry Brown: He’s already coached a Big Ben to a championship.

Al Bundy: He loves to relive his football glory days, and there’s no chance that he’ll quit to spend more time with his family.

Kim Cattrall: She encourages men to get physical, and she’s worked with a star named Parker.

Bill Clinton: He’s another “Bill C” who was chosen for a high-profile job in 1992.

Simon Cowell: The Terrible Towel would fit in well with the Unbearable Cowell.

Leonardo DiCaprio: As Cowher did as an assistant for Marty Schottenheimer, Leo often works with a Marty who seeks an elusive trophy.

John Edwards: Like Cowher, he’s an NC State alumnus who knows that winning in Ohio is crucial.

Jeff Fisher: You can never have enough references to The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.

Mario Lemieux: He’s brought championships to Pittsburgh, and he’s all about being Super.

Craig T. Nelson: After coaching high school football in the 80s (All the Right Moves) and college football in the 90s (Coach), he’s due for an NFL job.

Conan O’Brien: He’s already planning to take over for a guy called “The Chin” – why wait until 2009?

Nick Saban: He’s been at Alabama for a few days now, so he’s ready to move on.

Martha Stewart: As a home decorating guru, she could do wonders with a Steel Curtain.

Lynn Swann: He’s available after losing the Pennsylvania governor election. In western PA, this job is far more important anyway.

Jim Tressel: Just as Cowher thrived with The Bus, Tressel does his best work around a Carr.

Mike Vanderjagt: He‘s proven that he can help the Steelers win in the playoffs.

Mike Wallace: 60 Minutes gave him experience in working with an old-timer named Rooney.

Charlie Weis: He’s won in Heinz Field with the Patriots and Notre Dame. And he needs to leave the Fighting Irish to have a chance of winning a Bowl.