Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Some BS About Boise State

After a Breathtaking Stunner on Monday, Boise State is the Biggest Story of the Bowl Season thus far. They don’t have future Hall of Famers like Bart Starr, Bruce Smith, and Barry Sanders. Or a coaching legend like Bo Schembechler. But Chris Petersen has had Boundless Success after Dan Hawkins left to be the Buffaloes’ Savior.

As always, visiting teams had Befuddling Saturdays on the Blue Surface at Bronco Stadium. Belittling Skeptics questioned the supposedly Bogus Schedule, but Boise State put a Beaver Slaughter on Oregon State and withstood Brennan’s Stats against Hawaii. Although undefeated, they had to take a Back Seat to the Buckeye Stalwarts.

They got invited to the Bright Stage in Arizona, but they were clear underdogs versus the school of Barry Switzer, Billy Sims, and Boomer Sooner. Oklahoma had a championship coach in Bob Stoops, plus the Big XII Superiority over the WAC. Unlike horse racing, where Bill Shoemaker won five Belmont Stakes, football isn’t for the little guy.

But underdogs can Bring Surprises. Brewer Starter Ben Sheets beat Cuba in the 2000 Olympics. France knocked off the Brazil Soccer powerhouse at the World Cup. And Vince Vaughn’s team stunned Ben Stiller in Dodgeball. For 58 minutes on Monday, the Beaming Scoreboard favored the Believing Scrappers from Idaho.

Then a Bewitching Sequence suddenly left them Behind Seven. The tying touchdown and two-pointer were Bitter Setbacks, but the go-ahead score, on a Ball Snatched by a defensive back, was an absolute Body Slam. As in the Bedlam Series, Oklahoma appeared to be the Blessed Side.

But Jared Zabransky did not have a Broken Spirit, and he refused to be the remembered as the Blundering Scapegoat. He executed Petersen’s Bold Strategy to perfection, as Oklahoma’s Bamboozled Secondary was fooled by the hook-and-ladder. Like Sunday’s Bengals-Steelers game, this one was headed to overtime.

A Blazing Streak by Adrian Peterson seemed to re-establish OU as the Better, Stronger team. But another trick play Brought Six for the Broncos. Instead of Being Safe, they went for the win. The Beautiful Statue of Liberty play caused a Blissful Scene, as Brilliant Sophomore Ian Johnson ran to victory. Soon he was a Betrothed Superstar, as his Blushing Sweetheart accepted his marriage proposal in front of thousands of Breathless Supporters. Let’s hope they don’t take marital advice from Britney Spears.

Even the makers of Bad Santa had to be uplifted. Bud Selig can only wish that the World Series provided such drama. Perhaps Brees’s Saints can bring similar exhilaration this month. In the meantime, Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days” will play on in Idaho.

But that’s all I’ll say about Boise State. By now, you’ve had enough of my BS.