Monday, February 05, 2007

Super Bowl Winners, Besides The Colts

Sunday in Miami, the Colts earned their first Super Bowl title since the franchise moved to Indianapolis in 1984. The 29-17 victory over the Chicago Bears will long be remembered for making champions of quarterback Peyton Manning and head coach Tony Dungy. Besides Indy, here were some other big winners from Sunday’s showdown.

1988 Kansas Jayhawks: Sweet memories flooded back as a Manning led a team to a championship.

Auburn Fans: They’ve always been eager to see a Bear lose a big game.

Bakeries: The sloppy contest provided free publicity for places that feature turnovers.

Billy Dee Williams: His favorite drink was within one yard of the game-clinching play, as Kelvin Hayden ran back an interception from the Colt 44.

Donald Rumsfeld: The Colts proved that you can succeed in 2007, even if you were inept on defense throughout 2006.

Johnny Unitas: Since he passed away in 2002, the Baltimore legend did not have to see the Colts win a title in Indianapolis.

Kick Returners: Considering the results of the BCS national championship game and the Super Bowl, every team will want to give up a touchdown on the opening kickoff.

Midwestern State University: The Division II program produced Indy’s Dominic Rhodes, who rushed for 113 yards and a touchdown. The performance was a badly needed boost for the school, which still feels shame from giving us Dr. Phil.

Monkey Moving Services: Numerous monkeys must now relocate, since they no longer can live on the backs of Manning and Dungy. The displaced monkeys hope they can crash with their friends on Alex Rodriguez’s back.

National Hockey League: The frequent Pro Bowl promos reminded viewers that the NHL isn’t the only league with an All-Star Game no one cares about.

Paul Marcarelli: He’s the “Can you hear me now?” man for Verizon. Yesterday proved that a guy who appears in loads of commercials can go on to be the Super Bowl MVP.

Racists: They finally got to see an African-American coach lose a Super Bowl.

Steve Spurrier: Rex Grossman went down to defeat, but Spurrier can still say, “You never saw Peyton beat a Gator when I was around!”

The U: Hurricanes Devin Hester and Reggie Wayne scored the first two touchdowns, one day after Michael Irvin was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Plus, the winning team had a “U” on their helmets.

University of Phoenix Stadium: After Sunday’s rain-soaked event, next year’s Super Bowl host can brag about its retractable roof.