Friday, August 10, 2007

Bonds & Other Barrys

As everyone knows by now, Barry Bonds slammed his 756th major league home run Tuesday night, breaking the all-time record. Bonds has passed Hank, but how does he compare to other Barrys? Let’s take a look.

Barry Bonds: Smoked the record-breaker off a Washington player
Marion Barry: Smoked crack as the Washington mayor

Barry Alvarez: Was the leader of the Wisconsin Badgers
Barry Bonds: Thanks to him, the MLB leader from Wisconsin was badgered

Barry Bonds: Has a high on-base percentage for the Giants
Barry Zito: Has a high earned run average for the Giants

Rick Barry: Was a prickly Bay Area superstar
Barry Bonds: Is a prickly Bay Area superstar

Barry Bonds: Somehow, he doesn’t have a World Series championship ring
Barry Switzer: Somehow, he has a Super Bowl championship ring

Barry Melrose: Noted for his mullet hair
Barry Bonds: Noted for his mammoth head

Barry Levinson: Collaborated with Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man and Wag the Dog
Barry Bonds: Collaborated with Dusty Baker in Candlestick and Pac Bell Parks

Barry Bonds: Born in 1964
Barry Goldwater: Burned in 1964 election

Dave Barry: Displays his sense of humor as a newspaper columnist
Barry Bonds: Rarely displays his sense of humor to newspaper columnists

Barry Sanders: Retired before breaking the all-time record
Barry Bonds: To many fans’ chagrin, DIDN’T retire before breaking the all-time record

Barry Bonds: Draws lots of passes to get to first base
Barry White: Helped lots of guys get past first base

Barry Bonds: Endured a stressful home run chase
Barry Pepper: Endured a stressful home run chase, as Roger Maris in 61* (MLB must really hate him, given all the “No Pepper Allowed” signs at the ballpark)

Barry Foster: Rushed for 1,690 yards for Pittsburgh in 1992
Barry Bonds: Rushed out of Pittsburgh in 1992

Barry Manilow: Sang “Can’t Smile Without You”
Barry Bonds: Jeff Kent smiles without him

Barry Williams: Portrayed Greg Brady
Barry Bonds: Regarding two Andersons, critics say he got steroids from Greg and hit tainted home runs like Brady

Barry Larkin: One-time MVP who played shortstop
Barry Bonds: Seven-time MVP with a short fuse

Barry Bonds: Sports legend who testified before a grand jury
Barry Scheck: As part of O.J.’s defense team, made sure a sports legend didn’t testify before a jury

Barry Sonnenfeld: Directed Big Trouble and Wild Wild West
Barry Bonds: Team is in big trouble in the NL West

Barry Bostwick: Rocky Horror Picture Show star has inspired fans to throw toast
Barry Bonds: MLB star has inspired fans to throw syringes

Barry Gibb: Fueled disco fever with the Bee Gees’ smash hits
Barry Bonds: Fuels Giants fans’ fever with splash hits