Friday, February 08, 2008

ACC Halftime Report

We’ve reached the midpoint of conference play in the ACC basketball season. How do things look? In order of the current standings, here are some quick hits on each of the 12 teams.

Duke: 8-0 Conference; 20-1 Overall. Coach K has the Devils at the top of their game, and now we know why he was chosen to coach at the Beijing Olympics this summer. It’s the Year of the Rat in China.

North Carolina: 6-2; 21-2. Ty Lawson’s injury is only a temporary issue. The long-range problem? There’s no “D” in “Tar Heels.”

Clemson: 5-3; 17-5. The Tigers desperately hope to end their winless streak in Chapel Hill this Sunday. If UNC somehow falls to 52-1, the ’72 Dolphins will storm the Smith Center court.

Maryland: 5-3; 15-8. Bambale Osby is fulfilling the promise he showed at Carver High School in the late 70’s. Any White Shadow fans out there?

Virginia Tech: 5-4; 14-9. Three of the Hokies’ conference wins have come in overtime. So they’re hoping that all ACC Tournament games will be scheduled for 45 minutes.

North Carolina State: 4-4; 15-7. Freshman star J.J. Hickson gives ACC fans what they’ve wanted for years: a J.J.-led team that’s completely mediocre.

Georgia Tech: 4-4; 11-10. In conference, the Yellow Jackets are 1-3 at home and 3-1 on the road. Is Eli Manning their point guard?

Wake Forest: 3-5; 13-8. The future looks bright, and Chris Paul is lighting up the NBA. But once again, I have to ask: why does the Demon Deacon mascot wear a bowtie on his CHIN? Somebody answer me!

Boston College: 3-5; 12-9. The Eagles have dropped five straight games. Fortunately for them, Boston fans are way more disappointed by a team that’s lost 1 of its last 19.

Florida State: 3-6; 14-10. Guard Isaiah Swann is out with a torn ACL. Unlike for other FSU athletes, this ACL stands for Anterior Cruciate Ligament, not Academic Cheating Loss.

Miami: 2-6; 15-7. This slumping Miami team can’t help itself by trading Shaq.

Virginia: 1-7; 11-10. At 10-2 when the new year arrived, they’re just 1-8 since. Giuliani’s had a less disappointing 2008.