Oakland, Detroit & Cleveland: NFL Draft & NBA Playoffs

After much fanfare, the 2007 NFL draft is in the books. Due to their miserable performances in 2006, the first three selections belonged to Oakland, Detroit, and Cleveland. At least for a weekend, these downtrodden teams were able to enjoy the spotlight and experience a sense of hope.

Sports fans in these cities have also gotten a view from the top during the NBA playoffs. Detroit and Cleveland completed first-round sweeps, while the Golden State Warriors are the talk of the league with their 3-1 series lead over the Dallas Mavericks. Here’s how these thriving hoopsters compare to their struggling football neighbors.


OAKLAND:

Warriors: Coach Don Nelson hopes to beat Dallas, his former team
Raiders: Coach Lane Kiffin hopes he could beat USC, his former team

Warriors: Thriving under the leadership of Baron Davis
Raiders: Sinking under the leadership of Al Davis

Warriors: Beat out Clippers for #8 seed
Raiders: Beaten by blitzers on 3rd and 18

Warriors: Stephen Jackson drills three-pointers and gets in trouble with the law
Raiders: Sebastian Janikowski drills three-pointers and gets in trouble with the law

Warriors: Made a miraculous shot before halftime on Sunday
Raiders: Need a miracle to score before halftime on Sundays

Warriors: Jason Richardson skies high for his dunks
Raiders: In trading Randy Moss, said bye to a punk

Warriors: Have overcome the scoring of Stack and Dirk
Raiders: Quarterbacks get sacked and hit the dirt

DETROIT:

Pistons: Took down Orlando, four games out of four in the first round
Lions: Took wide receivers, four years out of five in the first round

Pistons: Have one fewer Wallace these days
Lions: Have one too many Millens these days

Pistons: Gave no chance to Jameer Nelson
Lions: Had no chance at JaMarcus Russell

Pistons: Fans love Rip Hamilton
Lions: Fans love to rip management

Pistons: Provide reminders of the Bad Boys years
Lions: Provide reminders of many bad years

Pistons: Have five quality players in the starting lineup
Lions: Have five quality players in the starting lineup

Pistons: Motivated by last season’s loss to Miami
Lions: Motivated by last season’s loss to Miami, and almost everyone else on the schedule

CLEVELAND:

Cavaliers: Led to playoffs by coach Mike Brown
Browns: Led to ruin by drafting Couch and Brown

Cavaliers: Achieved franchise’s first four-game sweep
Browns: Would love to achieve a four-yard sweep

Cavaliers: LeBron James steals and finishes drives
Browns: Curse the Steelers and The Drive

Cavaliers: Avoided showdown with Agent Zero
Browns: Put up zero in showdown with the Bengals

Cavaliers: First round victory sent the Wizards fishing
Browns: First rounder Joe Thomas spent draft day fishing

Cavaliers: Kansas product Drew Gooden is a Jayhawk
Browns: Brady Quinn’s brother-in-law is A.J. Hawk

Cavaliers: Zydrunas Ilgauskas scores, boards, and goes over 7 feet
Browns: On the scoreboard, going over 7 is a feat


Tampa Bay, which had the #4 pick in the NFL draft, does not have an NBA team. Still, Tampa ended up with as many NBA playoff victories as any other Florida city.

Browns Seek Move To NFC West

On Sunday, the Seattle Seahawks will make their first Super Bowl appearance in franchise history.  They will proudly represent the NFC against the Pittsburgh Steelers, even though the Seahawks spent the first 26 years of their existence in the AFC.  The Super Bowl-starved Cleveland Browns have taken notice and would love to experience similar results.  As a result, the Browns have requested that the NFL move them to the NFC West.

 

 

Under the proposition, the Arizona Cardinals would take Cleveland’s place in the AFC North.  Like the Browns, the Cardinals have never played in a Super Bowl.  Cleveland owner Randolph Lerner noted that since current conditions are not working for either team, perhaps a change of scenery would be to their benefit.  In that respect, a switch could be viewed in the same manner as last week’s Ron Artest-Peja Stojakovic trade.  Except that the Cardinals don’t hit people as often as Artest.

 

 

Changing conferences seems to have agreed with Seattle.  The Seahawks made one playoff appearance in their final 13 seasons in the AFC, losing an opening round matchup at home to Miami in January 2000.  However, they have reached the postseason in three of their four NFC campaigns.  The cyclical nature of the league has helped.  Seattle’s new division rivals in San Francisco and St. Louis have had glorious seasons in the past, but this year they were as impotent as the Democratic party.  The 49ers in particular embody the NFL phenomenon known as the Travolta Effect.  They’ve enjoyed their “Saturday Night Fever” and “Pulp Fiction” while they lasted, but now they have to endure their “Battlefield Earth.”

 

 

The Browns are hoping that by joining Seattle in the NFC West, their long-held, desperate Super Bowl wishes can be realized.  The team’s supporters are similar to Red Sox fans prior to 2004.  The Drive equates to Bucky Dent’s home run, and The Fumble parallels Bill Buckner’s error.  Babe Ruth left Boston and won many World Series in New York, while Art Modell moved the Browns out of Cleveland and captured a Super Bowl title in Baltimore.  The similarities are so strong, Manny Ramirez recently put on a Browns uniform and demanded to be traded to another NFL team.

 

 

Since pro football returned to Cleveland in 1999, the results have mostly been dismal.  The Browns’ cumulative record over those seven seasons is 36-76.  Head coach Romeo Crennel provides some reason for optimism, having won three Super Bowl rings as New England’s defensive coordinator before heading to Cleveland in 2005.  However, Romeo’s first Browns team still had too many Juliets, finishing 6-10. 

 

 

One of the major culprits is the lack of production from the team’s first-round draft choices.  Holding the first overall selection in 1999, the front office lent too much credence to the theory that athletes named after furniture will thrive in Ohio.  This strategy worked brilliantly with Cincinnati Reds Hall of Famer Johnny Bench.  However, quarterback Tim Couch flopped with the Browns.

 

 

With their tortured playoff history and uninspiring recent performance, the Browns found inspiration in the Seahawks and decided to take action.  However, Cleveland’s request is just the latest appeal the Browns have made to the league office over the years in order to enhance their Super Bowl chances.  The most prominent of these efforts was the “dirty-tricks campaign” against the Denver Broncos in the late 1980s.  Numerous Browns officials attempted to break into the league office, leaving fake memos stating that teams with orange uniforms were ineligible for the postseason.  On numerous occasions Cleveland also tried to have John Elway suspended, claiming that he was responsible for the Iran-Contra Affair, the Exxon Valdez oil spill, and the release of “Howard the Duck.”

 

 

Those pleas were denied, but the Browns hope for a breakthrough this time around.  Whatever it takes to get there, Cleveland will erupt in celebration whenever their beloved team finally reaches the Super Bowl.  They’ll further rejoice when they see the opposition take the field.  Because John Elway will be nowhere in sight.