Rockets' Streak By The Numbers, From 1 To 20

Wednesday night in Atlanta, the Houston Rockets defeated the Hawks 83-75 to extend their improbable winning streak to 20 games. The run is tied with the 1970-71 Milwaukee Bucks for second-best in NBA history. It remains to be seen how long the streak will last. In the meantime, here’s a by-the-numbers look at the streak, from 1 to 20.


1: Division 1 college teams (Davidson) with a current winning streak of at least 20 games. But they play in the Southern Conference, not the Western Conference.

2: Career regular season 3-point attempts for 41-year-old Dikembe Mutombo, who missed both. He should try a few in tonight’s game – the way the Rockets are going, he’d drain ‘em like Reggie Miller.

3: Games among their last eight in which Houston has held the opponent to 75 points or less. The highlight was a 94-69 rout of Washington, in which Luther Head led the Rockets with 18. The combination of 69, Head, and Washington begs for an Eliot Spitzer reference.

4: Teams (Pacers, Cavaliers, Hawks, and Hornets) the Rockets have beaten twice during the streak. Cleveland and New Orleans are actually good. On the other hand, playing Indiana and Atlanta multiple times is how streaks are made.

5: Consecutive games in double figures for forward Carl Landry, before missing the last three contests with an injury. Carl Landry and “Rockets” reminds me of Carl Lewis “And the rockets’ red glare…” Somewhere, Charley Steiner is laughing.

6: Month of the year represented by June, when Houston hopes to still be playing.

7: Seasons in which first-year head coach Rick Adelman has guided his team to at least the second round of the NBA playoffs. Tracy McGrady, you can learn from this guy!

8: Consecutive victories Houston has had without Yao Ming. His season-ending injury could be a blessing in disguise. No team has won the NBA championship with a 7’6” Chinese guy.

9: Zero hour for a Rocket Man, according to Elton John. Sir Elton doesn’t know his hoops – nobody tips off at 9AM.

10: Current win streak for the Boston Celtics. Slackers!

11: Years since the Rockets last won a playoff series. Soon, “20 out of 20” will be way less important than “4 out of 7.”

12: Jersey number of point guard Rafer Alston, who feuded with coach Sam Mitchell during his previous stop in Toronto. Rafer’s not the only Rocket to have issues with a guy named Mitchell.

13: Consecutive victories Houston still needs to match the all-time record set by the 1971-72 Lakers. That team was in such a groove, Wilt probably even got laid once or twice.

14: Points scored in the Super Bowl by the New England Patriots, who unlike the Rockets have lost since the end of January.

15: Years since owner Leslie Alexander bought the team in July 1993. That fall, Michael Jordan retired, and Alexander’s Rockets won their first 15 games. At the time, he spent several hours a day screaming, “Owning a team is AWESOME!!!” to anyone within earshot.

16: Games below .500 for the Charlotte Bobcats, Houston’s next opponent. Expect Shane Battier to play well. Trust me, he has a strong track record against North Carolina teams.

17: NBA seasons played by the greatest Rocket of them all, Hakeem Olajuwon. Assuming you forget about that final season with the Raptors. Most of us do.

18: Losses by the Miami Heat since Houston’s last defeat. Plus, Dwyane Wade is out for the season. Clearly Barkley’s Five is cursed.

19: Losses on the season for the West-leading Lakers, who play in Houston on Sunday. Then the Rockets host Boston before traveling to New Orleans, Golden State, and Phoenix – all by next Saturday. This is all during Holy Week, and to keep the streak going, the Rockets may need to bench Luis Scola and replace him with Jesus.

20: Also known as a score. So the last score of final scores have gone the Rockets’ way.

Howards' End

The legendary Howard Cosell was known for “telling it like it is.” If he were alive today, Cosell would have some harsh words regarding his namesakes in the American sports world. Right now, it’s a tough time to be a Howard.


That statement has been particularly true in the NBA playoffs. The first team eliminated was the Orlando Magic, led by Dwight Howard. Orlando was given little chance against the top-seeded Detroit Pistons, but Magic fans had to be disappointed in getting swept. While Howard provides hope for the future, the franchise has not won a playoff series since Shaquille O’Neal left for Los Angeles in 1996. Besides Shaq’s departure, the drought most likely resulted because God is punishing Orlando for pushing boy bands onto the world.


Apparently, the secret to victory by a #8 seed was to have a Howard in the opponent’s starting lineup. Even with Josh Howard averaging over 20 points, the Dallas Mavericks were stunned by the Golden State Warriors in six games. On the bright side for Howard, the name most associated with this loss was a bit more German-sounding. Although he will almost certainly win the MVP award, Dirk Nowitzki will face ongoing “can’t win the big one” scrutiny. After his 2-for-13 performance in Game 6, MVP stands for “Making Vacation Plans.”


The Mavericks weren’t the only Texas team to be undone by the Howard affliction. Despite playing at home for game 7, the Houston Rockets fell 103-99 to the Utah Jazz, ending the season of Juwan Howard. The headlines are about Tracy McGrady’s playoff defeats, but Juwan’s demise means a clean sweep of the NBA Howards. League officials are fortunate that David Stern is in charge, rather than Howard Stern.


The Howard effect is not limited to the basketball court. 2006 National League MVP Ryan Howard is currently batting .198 as his Philadelphia Phillies head into tonight’s series-ender with the San Francisco Giants. Last year he slugged 58 home runs, but now he’s living below the Mendoza Line. His cold stretch has led to something unbelievable in San Francisco this weekend. He’s a huge, left-handed home run champ, but no one thinks he’s on steroids.


Considering the struggles of Howards, you might think the Detroit Red Wings tempted fate by recalling goaltender Jimmy Howard on Thursday. However, the Red Wings already have future Hall of Famer Dominik Hašek in net, backed up by Chris Osgood. Hašek is a two-time Hart Trophy winner as the league MVP. Still, he has never been more valuable than he is now, because his presence keeps a Howard out of action.


NFL teams surely have taken note of the Howard effect. In last week’s draft, not one player named Howard was chosen throughout the seven rounds. Even Green Bay was scared, despite capturing Super Bowl XXXI thanks to Desmond Howard. Additionally, just to be safe, no team drafted a player from Howard University. If Brady Quinn had been named Brady Howard, he might still be sitting in Radio City Music Hall.


The Howard struggles do not seem to be in effect outside the American sports world. Goaltender Tim Howard was victorious Saturday, as his Everton club defeated Portsmouth 3-0 in an important English Premier League match. Also, Spider-Man 3 is on its way to a runaway box office triumph, despite the presence of Bryce Dallas Howard. In addition to nullifying the Howard effect, the film provides the weekend’s only opportunity to put “triumph” and “Dallas” in the same sentence.


As for the Howards in American sports, perhaps Ryan can soon turn things around. As another Howard (Jones) once sang, “Things can only get better.” If they don’t soon, Ryan Howard may echo Network character Howard Beale: “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

Houston, We Have Many Problems

October 19 was a wonderful night for Houston sports fans.  Rebounding from a ninth inning collapse two nights earlier, the Astros defeated St. Louis 5–1 to advance to their first World Series.  The five weeks since have brought nothing but misery for the city’s teams.  On Thursday, Houston residents will give thanks – because all their teams are idle.

 

The trouble began when the Astros were swept by the White Sox in the World Series.  Houston’s most competitive efforts were not against Chicago, but versus commissioner Bud Selig for his decision to close the roof at Minute Maid Park.  Game 3 lasted as long as Hanukkah before former Astro Geoff Blum’s 14th-inning home run led the White Sox to victory.  Chicago capped off the sweep with a 1–0 win in Game 4, with some guy named Willie Harris scoring the only run.  Interviewed in the victorious clubhouse afterwards, Harris remarked, “Even I’ve never heard of me.”

 

At least the Astros made it to the big stage – something the Texans will not have the chance to do this season.  The expansion team did defeat Cleveland 19–16 on October 30.  That triumph is the only bright spot in a 1–9 season.  Quarterback David Carr is considering a second career as a crash test dummy, so he can be hit less often.  The Texans have shown great balance, ranking 30th out of 32 NFL teams in both scoring offense and scoring defense.  Houston fans are eagerly awaiting the season-ending showdown with similarly inept San Francisco.  With prime draft position on the line, the January 1 contest is being billed as the Mel Kiper, Jr. Bowl.

 

Current NBA standings show the Rockets as the worst team in the Western Conference at 3–9.  Superstar Tracy McGrady has missed six games due to back problems, and Houston has lost all six of those matchups.  Despite having the best 7’6” Chinese player in the league, the Rockets need McGrady to once again become solidly mediocre.  On Friday, Houston travels to Memphis for a game that will be pivotal in the Conference USA race.

 

Houston’s sports problems have become so pervasive, they have even spread to guys named Houston.  Running back Cedric Houston is suffering through a miserable 2–8 season with the New York Jets.  His head coach Herman Edwards, who once famously stated, “You play to win the game,” reportedly has no idea why the Jets are playing right now.  Also, Houston Nutt was unable to lead his Arkansas Razorbacks to bowl eligibility.  At 4–6, Houston’s Hogs are being led to slaughter in Friday’s season-ender at LSU.  Allan Houston must be turning in his grave.  Or, since he’s not actually dead, suffering some sort of pain while resting in his mansion.

 

Sports fans in Space City hope for better days ahead.  For the past five weeks, however, their teams have been lost in space.