Ones' Shining Moment

Despite a valiant effort by Davidson, next weekend’s Final Four is only open to the Goliaths. North Carolina, Memphis, UCLA, and Kansas will be part of the first Final Four comprised entirely of #1 seeds. At times the pace will be as fast as Formula One, but the basketball will be far more disciplined than AND1. Clearly the number one will be predominant in San Antonio. In honor of the occasion, here’s a look at the many ways in which “One/1” relates to this Final Four.


Point awarded for making a free throw, which Memphis actually can do.

Three Dog Night song noted for the line “One is the loneliest number.” Obviously they didn’t foresee this Final Four.

Years Derrick Rose and Kevin Love will spend in college. Despite references to Love and a Rose, the previous sentence was not meant to be romantic.

2001 film (The One) starring Jet Li, featuring nearly as much action as Saturday’s Kansas-North Carolina semifinal.

UCLA titles since John Wooden retired in 1975. That trophy was claimed in 1995 by Jim Harrick, who is eager to re-enter the ranks of crooked coaches.

Jersey number of Marcus Ginyard for North Carolina and Willie Kemp for Memphis. So even if they lose this weekend, they can still claim to be number one.

U2 hit song from the early 90s, back when Roy Williams was coaching the Jayhawks AGAINST the Tar Heels in Final Fours.

Losses for Memphis this season – a February defeat to Tennessee. The Tigers did slightly better against the other UT on Sunday.

Shots missed, out of 22, by Bill Walton in the biggest UCLA-Memphis game of all time – the 1973 NCAA Championship. Commenting from the future, broadcaster Bill Walton remarked, “What a HORRIBLE miss!”

Name of a global campaign to fight poverty. These teams will do their part by producing rich NBA players.

Players on these squads with a national championship ring (Quentin Thomas). So Quentin Thomas could become the first UNC player ever to win two national titles. That’s right, I said Quentin Thomas.

Moniker (“The One”) for Neo in The Matrix. Expect Saturday’s coaches to wear dark sunglasses to go with their suits.

Members of Conference USA who made the NCAA Tournament, meaning that Conference USA is undefeated in the Big Dance.

Signature tune from the Broadway smash A Chorus Line. This week, Broadway will feature college hoops’ number one from 2006 and 2007, as the Gators try to be #66 in 2008.

Number symbolized by those big foam fingers, which were developed in response to lackluster sales of “We’re number 3” foam products.

Previous Final Fours for John Calipari, as well as the number of press conferences in which an opposing coach threatened to kill him.

Hit single recorded by Metallica in the spring of 1988. Kansas fans appreciate any reference to the spring of 1988.

Numeric designation for point guard, as well as the round in which Derrick Rose, Darren Collison, and Ty Lawson will be drafted in June.

Atomic number of hydrogen. In honor of the student-athletes, I figured I’d put something educational in here.

Combined NCAA championships for the four coaches (Williams in 2005). I’ll go out on a limb and say that they’ll combine for another by next Monday night.

Name of a compilation album for The Beatles. Like John, Paul, George, and Ringo, this weekend’s participants comprise a Fab Four.

Games these teams will play at a time, assuming they know their clichés.

Division in which these teams play. Thankfully, the phrase “Bowl Subdivision” doesn’t apply to hoops.

All-Final Four MLB Team

This week is a huge one for American sports fans. Ohio State, Georgetown, UCLA, and Florida are eagerly awaiting Saturday’s Final Four. One night later, the major league baseball season begins as the defending champion St. Louis Cardinals take on the New York Mets. Major leaguers share numerous similarities to the teams and activities to be featured at the Final Four. With that in mind, here is the All-Final Four Major League Baseball team.


Starting Pitcher: Johan Santana, Minnesota Twins. Just as UCLA shut down Kansas, he easily shuts down Kansas City.

Catcher: A.J. Pierzynski, Chicago White Sox. He’s equally as beloved as Billy Packer.

First Base: Prince Fielder, Milwaukee Brewers. Cecil’s son is a Brewer whose father was a pro athlete. Florida has Corey Brewer and numerous sons of pro athletes.

Second Base: Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies. Since he’s a gritty player from UCLA, Ben Howland would love him.

Third Base: Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees. Like Monday night’s winner, he peaks in April.

Shortstop: David Eckstein, St. Louis Cardinals. He’s a Florida Gator who’s a defending champion. Aren’t all Gators these days?

Left Fielder: Barry Bonds, San Francisco Giants. UCLA is defensive-minded and follows Arron Afflalo. Bonds gets defensive while following Aaron.

Center Fielder: Kenny Lofton, Texas Rangers. Lofton played in the 1988 Final Four with Arizona. Ohio State enters this Final Four with 34 wins – equaling the number of Lofton’s major league teams.

Right Fielder: Magglio Ordonez, Detroit Tigers. In the ALCS, he hit a walk-off game-winner. In the Sweet16, Georgetown’s Jeff Green hit a walking game-winner.

Designated Hitter: Travis Hafner, Cleveland Indians. Like Greg Oden, he’s an intimidating big man in Ohio.

Relief Pitcher: Chad Cordero, Washington Nationals. In Georgetown fashion, he plays in D.C. and shuts down opposing offenses at the end of games.

Manager: Bobby Cox, Atlanta Braves. The Final Four is in Atlanta, where Cox is used to seeing postseason action. Unfortunately for him, he’s only had One Shining Moment.

General Manager: Billy Beane, Oakland A’s. Surely he loves Ohio State’s Ron Lewis, who hit a Moneyball against Xavier.

Owner: Frank McCourt, Los Angeles Dodgers. Now in the same city as UCLA, he’s a Georgetown alumnus. Like his alma mater before this week, the Dodgers haven’t been to the Final Four since the 80s.

Mascot: Billy the Marlin, Florida Marlins. He’s what Coach Donovan hopes to be on Monday: a Billy who’s been part of two Florida championships.

Howland To Team: "We're Playing The Florida Tigers"

All over Gainesville this weekend, fans are shouting “Go Gators!” However, UCLA head coach Ben Howland is calling his NCAA championship game opponent by a different name. Howland is insisting that his players refer to Florida as the Tigers.


The Bruin coach conceived this strategy based on his team’s previous two victories. UCLA defeated the Memphis Tigers 50-45 to advance to the Final Four. Yesterday the Bruins dominated the LSU Tigers 59-45. Therefore, it makes sense for Howland to convince his players that they are taking on another set of Tigers. With his team on board, he believes that UCLA will also hold Florida to 45 points.


The Tiger phenomenon is not a new development for UCLA. The signature win of the program’s last national title run in 1995 was a last-second thriller over the Missouri Tigers, thanks to Tyus Edney’s full-court dash. The school’s previous Final Four appearance in 1980 was earned due to a regional final victory over the Clemson Tigers. And in 1973, John Wooden captured his seventh consecutive national title with a triumph over the Memphis State Tigers. Bill Walton shot an amazing 21 for 22 from the floor in that contest. If he had been facing the Memphis State Bulldogs, he would have been lucky to make half his shots.


However, UCLA’s fortunes versus Tigers took a turn for the worse after the 1995 national title. In 1996 the Princeton Tigers stunned the defending champions 43-41 as Pete Carril outfoxed the UCLA head coach. I did not mention that Bruin leader by name because it seemed ridiculous to include Princeton and Jim Harrick in the same sentence. The Missouri Tigers eliminated UCLA in the 2002 Sweet 16, and the Bruins regularly lost to Stanford, alma mater of Tiger Woods. The school was even denied entrance to the American League Central, depriving it of the opportunity to dominate the Detroit Tigers.


Howland’s hiring in 2003 ensured that things would be different in Westwood. He made two pledges in his initial press conference as the UCLA coach. First, his teams would always be tenacious on defense. Secondly, the Bruins would not lose tournament games to Tigers. Those promises are evident in Howland’s mantra: “Defense wins championships. Tigers don’t.”


Knowing the effectiveness of Howland’s approach, Florida head coach Billy Donovan continues to emphasize that his team is not called the Tigers. Donovan has arranged for groups of Florida supporters to tail the UCLA team, shouting “Go Gators!” Florida stars Joakim Noah and Taurean Green were seen walking around their hotel lobby, holding signs proclaiming, “I’m a Gator – Not a Tiger!” Donovan even enlisted the aid of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. Irwin e-mailed his SportsCenter commercial to UCLA guards Jordan Farmar and Aaron Afflalo, noting, “Crikey! That’s not a tiger I’ve got a hold of!”


It remains to be seen if Howland’s strategy will pay off with a championship. Even if his players do not believe that they are facing the Tigers, Howland has a back-up plan. Florida’s previous championship game appearance resulted in a loss to Michigan State in 2000. So tomorrow night, UCLA will be led onto the court by Mateen Cleaves.