Despite a valiant effort by Davidson, next weekend’s Final Four is only open to the Goliaths. North Carolina, Memphis, UCLA, and Kansas will be part of the first Final Four comprised entirely of #1 seeds. At times the pace will be as fast as Formula One, but the basketball will be far more disciplined than AND1. Clearly the number one will be predominant in San Antonio. In honor of the occasion, here’s a look at the many ways in which “One/1” relates to this Final Four.
Point awarded for making a free throw, which Memphis actually can do.
Three Dog Night song noted for the line “One is the loneliest number.” Obviously they didn’t foresee this Final Four.
Years Derrick Rose and Kevin Love will spend in college. Despite references to Love and a Rose, the previous sentence was not meant to be romantic.
2001 film (The One) starring Jet Li, featuring nearly as much action as Saturday’s Kansas-North Carolina semifinal.
UCLA titles since John Wooden retired in 1975. That trophy was claimed in 1995 by Jim Harrick, who is eager to re-enter the ranks of crooked coaches.
Jersey number of Marcus Ginyard for North Carolina and Willie Kemp for Memphis. So even if they lose this weekend, they can still claim to be number one.
U2 hit song from the early 90s, back when Roy Williams was coaching the Jayhawks AGAINST the Tar Heels in Final Fours.
Losses for Memphis this season – a February defeat to Tennessee. The Tigers did slightly better against the other UT on Sunday.
Shots missed, out of 22, by Bill Walton in the biggest UCLA-Memphis game of all time – the 1973 NCAA Championship. Commenting from the future, broadcaster Bill Walton remarked, “What a HORRIBLE miss!”
Name of a global campaign to fight poverty. These teams will do their part by producing rich NBA players.
Players on these squads with a national championship ring (Quentin Thomas). So Quentin Thomas could become the first UNC player ever to win two national titles. That’s right, I said Quentin Thomas.
Moniker (“The One”) for Neo in The Matrix. Expect Saturday’s coaches to wear dark sunglasses to go with their suits.
Members of Conference USA who made the NCAA Tournament, meaning that Conference USA is undefeated in the Big Dance.
Signature tune from the Broadway smash A Chorus Line. This week, Broadway will feature college hoops’ number one from 2006 and 2007, as the Gators try to be #66 in 2008.
Number symbolized by those big foam fingers, which were developed in response to lackluster sales of “We’re number 3” foam products.
Previous Final Fours for John Calipari, as well as the number of press conferences in which an opposing coach threatened to kill him.
Hit single recorded by Metallica in the spring of 1988. Kansas fans appreciate any reference to the spring of 1988.
Numeric designation for point guard, as well as the round in which Derrick Rose, Darren Collison, and Ty Lawson will be drafted in June.
Atomic number of hydrogen. In honor of the student-athletes, I figured I’d put something educational in here.
Combined NCAA championships for the four coaches (Williams in 2005). I’ll go out on a limb and say that they’ll combine for another by next Monday night.
Name of a compilation album for The Beatles. Like John, Paul, George, and Ringo, this weekend’s participants comprise a Fab Four.
Games these teams will play at a time, assuming they know their clichés.
Division in which these teams play. Thankfully, the phrase “Bowl Subdivision” doesn’t apply to hoops.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Ones' Shining Moment
Monday, March 10, 2008
UNC Requests ACC Tournament Move To Cameron
The Atlantic Coast Conference men’s basketball tournament is scheduled for Charlotte Bobcats Arena this Thursday through Sunday. However, top-seeded North Carolina is seeking a last-minute change to the proceedings. UNC has requested that the tournament be moved to Cameron Indoor Stadium in Durham.
The development comes in the wake of Saturday’s 76-68 victory by the Tar Heels over Duke. The win was UNC’s third in a row at Cameron, leaving senior Quentin Thomas as the only Tar Heel to have experienced defeat at the famous venue. At this point, the junior class led by national player of the year front-runner Tyler Hansbrough considers games at Cameron to be automatic victories. Therefore, the players begged coach Roy Williams to lobby the ACC to move the tournament there.
Insiders consider the relocation to be highly unlikely, given the logistics of staging such an event and the time frame involved. However, Williams raised a point to illustrate why Cameron would be such an appropriate venue. “The ACC Tournament is a huge event in this region. So why have it in an ARENA when you can hold it in a STADIUM?”
Others charge that staging the tournament on Duke’s home court would impair the neutrality of the event. A potential solution to that problem would be to refer to Cameron as Wallace Wade Stadium during the tournament, since no one ever accuses a Duke team of having a home crowd advantage at Wallace Wade Stadium. The playing surface itself is known as Coach K Court. That name is soon likely to change to Psycho T Court, because Hansbrough and his teammates clearly own the place.
Certainly Dick Vitale would be in favor of such a move, since he would spend every day in Cameron if he could. Not so happy would be the wealthy boosters from each of the twelve ACC schools. Instead of being granted the cushy seats they expected, the boosters would be forced to camp out in tents to get into the games. Even if the move is a longshot, some ACC players are stunned that this scenario has come to light. When asked for comment about UNC’s proposal, Duke point guard Greg Paulus reportedly fainted. However, it turned out that Paulus was simply trying to draw an offensive foul on the interviewer.
If the Heels do not get another opportunity to play in Cameron this week, at least they can reflect on their victorious experience from Saturday. After the game, many Cameron Crazies tried doing shots to drown their sorrows, but they were denied when the shots got blocked by Danny Green. For the third straight season, Senior Night in Cameron led to defeat for the home team. Representing the senior class, likely All-ACC first-teamer DeMarcus Nelson was held to six points. It’s a good thing that the Dukie who made a half-court shot during College GameDay is a graduate student. If he had been a senior, chances are his shot would have gone woefully awry, knocking the highlighter out of Digger Phelps’s hand and breaking Erin Andrews’s nose in Marcia Brady-esque fashion.
Chances are, Carolina will not get to play in the comfort of Cameron Indoor Stadium this weekend. Most fans anticipate a third Tar Heels-Blue Devils matchup in Charlotte on Sunday. If instead, the final matchup is UNC-Clemson, expect the Heels to lobby the ACC for a move once again. They’d definitely want that game in Chapel Hill.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Duke's Unselfish Week
Around the country, the mere mention of the word “Duke” inspires hostility for millions of college basketball fans. However, Mike Krzyzewski and his Blue Devils deserve nothing but appreciation this week. Since Sunday, Duke has been a model of unselfishness.
The team’s exemplary behavior began with its trip to Wake Forest on Sunday night. Duke entered the contest at 10-0 in conference play and 22-1 overall. The prevailing wisdom among bracketologists was that the ACC would only place four of its twelve members into the NCAA tournament. Realizing that Wake could enter that discussion with a marquee victory, the Blue Devils went ahead and made that scenario a reality. As the Demon Deacons prevailed 86-73, Duke could take pride in advancing the cause of the conference. The truly unique aspect of the contest was that all five Blue Devils fouled out of the game. The referees even called three fouls on assistant coach Steve Wojciechowski, for flops he committed as a player in 1998.
Besides boosting Wake’s at-large chances, Duke also helped its biggest fan with the defeat. Dick Vitale recently returned to the airwaves after literally being silenced for much of the season after throat surgery. Knowing that Dickie V would be calling the Memphis-Tennessee showdown this coming Saturday, the Blue Devils wanted to give him the privilege of broadcasting a 1-vs.-2 matchup. With Sunday’s setback, Duke relinquished the #2 ranking in favor of the Volunteers. In gratitude, Vitale promised to mention the Cameron Crazies and Coach K as much as possible during the Tigers-Vols showdown, making it just like every other non-Duke game he broadcasts.
Not content to merely assist the ACC and Dickie V, Coach K advanced the cause of college basketball in general during a radio interview after the Wake loss. Noting that guard Nolan Smith had recently been playing through a knee injury, Coach K remarked, “unlike other schools we don’t release our injuries.” Believing that “other schools” was a thinly-veiled reference to North Carolina, UNC coach Roy Williams shot back on his radio show with a message to “coach their own damn team, I’ll coach my team.” While Roger Clemens, the Daytona 500, and the recent NBA trading frenzy still commanded the sports headlines, there’s nothing like a bit of sniping between the sport’s biggest rivals to get some attention for college basketball. If nothing else, it was much more fun and juicy than talking about Kelvin Sampson’s phone bills. Coach K surely knew that this media frenzy would ensue after making his comments. When it comes to slights against his team, Roy’s skin is thinner than a coked-up runway model.
Duke once again showed its conference loyalty in Wednesday’s 96-95 loss at Miami. The Hurricanes entered on the wrong side of the tournament bubble and desperately needed a high-quality win. Joe Lunardi certainly took notice as the Blue Devils accommodated the hosts with a season-high 23 turnovers. Miami’s Dwayne Collins tallied a career-high 26 points, leaving Duke assistant Chris Collins highly impressed. Remarked Chris, “Who would ever expect a guy named Collins to play so well in a Duke game?”
By dropping consecutive games on the road, Duke also brought joy to the opposing fans. ACC crowds always exert extra energy when the Blue Devils or Tar Heels come for a visit. However, until Sunday, Duke was unblemished in conference play, while UNC’s two defeats both came at home. In losing back-to-back contests, the Blue Devils put a stop to this season’s appalling lack of court-stormings by ACC fans.
It is not surprising that a team led by Coach K would be so unselfish these days. Krzyzewski is a devout Roman Catholic, so Lent is an important time for him. Coach K believes that everyone should be willing to sacrifice something. As a prime example, he cited the Duke football program, which gave up winning when Steve Spurrier left for Florida.
After this string of unselfishness, Duke cannot be blamed if it proceeds to blow out St. John’s this Saturday. However, rival fans have to appreciate the Blue Devils’ efforts in recent days. Only one thing would make them happier: seeing those same results in March.
Monday, February 11, 2008
"UNC Defeats Clemson in Chapel Hill," Plus Similar Headlines
For North Carolina fans, it was nearly the worst back-to-back regular season scenario imaginable. Coming off a defeat to hated Duke on Wednesday, the Tar Heels were perilously close to their first-ever home loss against Clemson Sunday night. However, despite never leading in regulation, UNC managed to prevail 103-93 in double-overtime. As a result, Carolina is now 53-0 against the Tigers in Chapel Hill, and “The Streak” lives on for at least another year.
Clemson was, for much of the evening, the better team in the Smith Center. However, in the end, the result was this utterly predictable headline: “UNC Defeats Clemson in Chapel Hill.” Here are a number of other headlines - inside and outside the sports world - carrying a similar level of surprise.
Cleveland Falls Short of Championship
Lohan Involved in Auto Mishap
Clemens Steroid Case Takes Bizarre Turn
Opposing Fan Calls Belichick “Arrogant”
Critics Blast New Sandler Film
Bengal Taken Into Custody
Bush’s Approval Rating Declines
Yankees Lead MLB in Payroll
Sitcom Focuses On Fat Guy With Hot Wife
Clippers Face Rebuilding Season
Major Title Eludes Sergio
Hot August Predicted For Phoenix
Fans Heap Scorn on BCS
Marlins Play Before Sparse Crowd
L.A. Drivers Confronted By Gridlock
Knick Fans Show Disgust Toward Isiah
Sharpton, Limbaugh Disagree On Several Issues
Saban Accepts New Coaching Job
Pope Endorses Prayer Habit
Vitale Portrays Duke in Positive Light
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Hansbrough & Other Tylers
This young basketball season has been marked by an unusually gifted freshman class that’s high on flash. However, the best player on the #1 team in the country is a junior with a not-so-pretty style. North Carolina’s Tyler Hansbrough hopes his all-out effort helps Roy Williams to his second national championship in April. In the meantime, here’s how Hansbrough compares to a dozen other Tylers.
John Tyler: He became President of the United States after the death in office of William Henry Harrison. Similarly, Hansbrough entered the spotlight because Sean May, Rashad McCants, Raymond Felton, and Marvin Williams departed early.
Mary Tyler Moore: She memorably tossed up her hat in Minneapolis. Hansbrough memorably tossed away his mask against Michigan State.
Bonnie Tyler: In Total Eclipse of the Heart, she sang, “Every now and then I fall apart.” The Tar Heels said the same thing after the Georgetown game.
Tyler Durden: In Fight Club he insisted, “I want you to hit me as hard as you can!” Hansbrough didn’t make the same request to Gerald Henderson, but it happened anyway.
Tyler Perry: The creator of House of Payne and Why Did I get Married has developed a media empire in Atlanta. As a freshman, Hansbrough also demanded Atlanta’s attention with a career-high 40 versus Georgia Tech.
Steven Tyler: In honor of the singer of Walk This Way, Hansbrough often gets away with an extra step down low.
Liv Tyler: Somehow, she looks like Steven Tyler but is still hot. Equally hard to believe: the guy with the biggest man-crush on Hansbrough is a Dukie (Jay Bilas).
Tyler, Texas: It’s the hometown of LSU quarterback Matt Flynn. Like Hansbrough, he hopes his season includes a victory over Ohio State.
Willie Tyler and Lester: As a ventriloquist, Willie thrives with his wooden partner. Hansbrough thrives with his partners on the hardwood.
Aisha Tyler: Hansbrough defies racial stereotypes as a white basketball star, just as Aisha did as a black person on Friends.
Tyler Green: Obscure, but the former Phillie starter is worth a mention for this bizarre stat: Green pitched in the 1995 All-Star Game, yet only won 18 games in his career. As for UNC’s Tyler, his most recent win came in Philly, with help from Danny Green.
Tyler James Williams: He’s the star of Everybody Hates Chris. Hansbrough plays eight miles from the team everybody hates.
Monday, March 26, 2007
OT Means "Only Trouble" For UNC
Sunday in the East Regional final, North Carolina’s national championship hopes came to a bitter end in a 96-84 overtime defeat to Georgetown. The result continued a distressing trend for the Tar Heels when playing beyond regulation. In recent years, overtime has brought nothing but pain to Carolina.
The top-seeded Heels seemed poised for the Final Four on Sunday, leading the second-seeded Hoyas 75-65 after Marcus Ginyard’s free throws with 7:19 remaining. However, UNC went scoreless for the next 3:31 and managed only six points in total until a meaningless three-pointer with eight seconds remaining in overtime. Carolina’s offense must have snitched on Tony Soprano, because all of a sudden it disappeared from New Jersey. After Jonathan Wallace’s three-pointer evened things up for the Hoyas, the Tar Heels were only half-ready for OT. They did have a (Psycho) T, but their O was gone.
The season-ending defeat prevented Roy Williams from reaching his second Final Four as UNC’s head coach. To Williams, “05” brings smiles as his national championship year. However, “0-5” now represents his overtime record as the Tar Heels’ leader. A February setback to Virginia Tech was preceded by losses during the 2003-04 season to Wake Forest, Florida State, and Duke. Overtime has now replaced Gerald Henderson as Public Enemy #1 in the Smith Center. As a result, Roy plans to lobby the NCAA to eliminate overtime periods. The suggestion is not without precedent, as college football did not extend beyond regulation until 1996. Realizing that no one wants a tie in basketball, the emotional Williams proposed a tiebreaker for games ending in a deadlock after regulation. The winner would be the team whose coach sheds the first tears.
His predecessor, Matt Doherty, was 0-2 in overtime games during an ill-fated stint as Carolina’s head coach. Reportedly, Doherty’s bad experiences with overtime came because he verbally abused and alienated overtime. For UNC’s last OT victory, you have to go back to March 1, 2000, when the Heels edged Georgia Tech 74-72. That was way back when Bill Clinton was running the USA and Bill Guthridge was in charge in Chapel Hill. Due to the quirks of Senior Night, someone named Matt Laczkowski started that home finale for UNC. If Matt Laczkowski is reading this article, chances are he just remarked, “Really? I started a game for Carolina basketball? No way!”
The troubles have also spread to the football team. The gridiron Heels have dropped their last three overtime games, with the most recent victory in extra time coming against North Carolina State in 1998. Taking the positive view, it does allow the UNC football players to claim “Hey, we ARE like the basketball team!” Both Tar Heel programs have something in common with immigrant workers at Wal-Mart. They work overtime, but get no benefits for it.
The overtime futility is particularly frustrating when you consider the basketball program’s past glories in OT. On its way to the 1993 national championship, UNC was in the exact same position as it was this Sunday: a #1 seed taking on a 2 seed in overtime at the East Regional final in East Rutherford. That time, Donald Williams led Carolina to a 75-68 triumph over Cincinnati. Bob Huggins’s Bearcats were immediately returned to police custody. Most famously, the 1957 Tar Heels capped an undefeated season with a triple-overtime classic over Kansas in the national championship game. The Jayhawks’ Wilt Chamberlain was so worn out after the game, he only slept with 12 women that night.
Amid the build-up to Sunday’s UNC-Georgetown showdown, Fred Brown’s gaffe in the 1982 title game was constantly mentioned. The result was reversed this time, but the more appropriate contrast is drawn from Chris Webber’s mistake in 1993. Then, UNC was blessed by a TO. Now it’s cursed by OT.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Top 10 Excuses For Gerald Henderson
Yesterday in the Dean Smith Center, North Carolina completed a regular season sweep of Duke with an 86-72 victory. The rivalry game was fairly unremarkable until 14.5 seconds remained. At that juncture, Duke’s Gerald Henderson bloodied the face of UNC’s Tyler Hansbrough with a flagrant foul, permanently earning villain status in Chapel Hill.
Henderson was ejected and will miss Duke’s first round ACC tournament game versus NC State on Thursday. However, he did have numerous explanations for his already infamous play. Here are the top 10 reasons for Gerald Henderson’s flagrant foul.
10. He wanted to show the Duke football team how to hit someone.
9. He was attempting to block the shot, assuming Hansbrough was trying to shoot his head into the basket.
8. He didn’t feel like playing next Thursday night anyway – that’s Ugly Betty time!
7. Ticky-tack ACC refs insist on calling a foul when you elbow a guy in the face and make him bleed.
6. He would have stepped on him, but he didn’t want to steal Laettner’s move.
5. He just hasn’t been himself since Anna Nicole left us.
4. You’d be pissed off, too, if you went to Duke and wound up on a crappy team.
3. He wanted to prove that unlike J.J. Redick, he could connect in the last 15 seconds of a game.
2. He figured the flagrant foul would be put on Pete Gaudet’s record.
AND…
1. As a Duke defender, he was trying to slap the floor when Hansbrough’s face got in the way.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Rough Week For Recent Champs
Over the past three seasons, Connecticut, North Carolina, and Florida have each experienced the thrill of an NCAA basketball championship. Those glorious memories stand in stark contrast to the past two games for each school. For the Huskies, Tar Heels, and Gators, the past week has been one to forget.
Things were different just nine days ago on February 21, when all three teams captured victories. UNC avenged an earlier loss to NC State with an 83-64 triumph over the Wolfpack. Florida claimed a 63-49 win over South Carolina, who had beaten the Gators twice last season. UConn got the best of Rutgers by a 65-55 margin. According to Huskies coach Jim Calhoun, the key to the victory was “showing up at Rutgers for a basketball game.”
However, the three titans have only tasted defeat since then. UConn’s losses are not a major surprise, given the up-and-down season for the extremely young team. The Huskies fell 76-69 on Sunday to Louisville as the Cardinals completed a season sweep. The only stunning aspect of the game is that two teams in the 38-member Big East actually played each other twice. On Wednesday, UConn fell 78-74 to a Villanova team that likely secured an NCAA berth. Wildcat freshman Scottie Reynolds scored 40 points before fouling out with 40 seconds left, with Villanova shooting 40 percent for the game. With so many 40’s on the premises, Gampel Pavilion seemed like a 7-11 parking lot.
Unlike the Huskies, the Tar Heels were not supposed to endure a losing streak. On Sunday, UNC squandered a double-digit lead in the last eight minutes of an 89-87 heartbreaker at red-hot Maryland. That night, the big winner at the Oscars was The Departed, a description of the Heels’ second-half defense and rebounding. Coach Roy Williams was not any happier last night, as Carolina dropped an 84-77 contest at Georgia Tech. Another UNC Williams – Marvin Williams of the 2005 national championship squad – was stunned by the result. As a member of the Hawks, Marvin never expects the home team to win a basketball game in Atlanta. There is one silver lining to the Heels’ sub-par performance. If they continue to look like that, they won’t have to worry about playing in Atlanta again this season.
The Gators seemed particularly immune to a slide, having returned all five starters from last year’s national championship run. However, coach John Brady led struggling LSU to a 66-56 upset over Billy Donovan’s visitors on Saturday. As in Super Bowl XXXIX, Brady got the best of Donovan. This Donovan didn’t get to throw to T.O., but he probably did want to puke in a late-game huddle. On Tuesday, Florida went down 86-76 at Tennessee. There was one sight in Knoxville that no one ever would have expected. Not Pat Summitt in a cheerleading outfit, but Peyton Manning at a game where his Vols beat the Gators.
UConn will be expected to lose again on Saturday, as it travels to ninth-ranked Georgetown. On the other hand, UNC and Florida will get to return home as they take on traditional powerhouses on Sunday. If Kentucky falls to the Gators for a sixth straight time, Wildcat fans may feed coach Tubby Smith to some actual gators. As the Tar Heels get ready for Duke, they can be encouraged by the fact that they beat the Blue Devils on February 7 after coming off a loss. Since UNC enters this one after two straight defeats, they should play twice as well.
It is worth noting that the Huskies, Tar Heels, and Gators last won on Ash Wednesday. Perhaps each team waited a day before giving up victories for Lent. Or maybe they heeded the words of Genesis 3:19, a passage sometimes uttered by priests as they place ashes on worshipers’ foreheads: “Remember that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.”
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Heels Keep Duke On Course For Winless February
On January 28, Duke notched an impressive 75-61 victory over Boston College. The win was the fifth in a row for the Blue Devils as they closed out the month. However, the subsequent month has been far less kind to Mike Krzyzewski’s team. Duke appears doomed to endure a winless February.
Last night, the Blue Devils fell to 0-3 during the month with a 79-73 setback to hated rival North Carolina in Cameron Indoor Stadium. Freshmen carried the day on both sides. Jon Scheyer led Duke with a career-high 26 points, while Brandan Wright paced the Tar Heels with 19. Ty Lawson made the difference for UNC with several key plays down the stretch. These standouts would be the week’s most notable Diaper Dandies, if not for psycho astronaut Lisa Nowak.
The victory was Carolina’s second consecutive in Durham, so DeMarcus Nelson is the only Blue Devil to have played in a win over the Heels in Cameron. Sophomore point guard Greg Paulus has not been so fortunate. Yesterday was also national signing day for college football, so his brother Mike made it official that he will play quarterback down the road in Chapel Hill. Unlike Greg, Mike will never have to worry about winning UNC-Duke matchups.
Duke’s misfortune appeared to spread to its alumni in the NBA Wednesday night. Every player from Duke who saw action wound up with a loss. That group was represented by J.J. Redick, Elton Brand, Daniel Ewing, Mike Dunleavy, and Dahntay Jones. Four other Dukies had “DNP” next to their names in the box scores, including Redick’s Orlando Magic teammate Grant Hill. His missing a game due to injury is equally as surprising as seeing Duke players lose in the NBA.
As for the current Blue Devils, their February miseries began with a 68-66 overtime defeat at Virginia on February 1, as Sean Singletary nailed the game-winner with one second remaining. Their next loss came against Florida State, which notched its first victory in Cameron after 15 defeats. Redick’s number was retired at halftime. In a fitting tribute to his Duke days, the Blue Devils failed to hit a shot with the game on the line.
After last night’s defeat, it is clear that February will bring nothing but pain for Duke. In the post-game press conference, Coach K remarked, “I think the key to the game was OW, MY BACK!!!” If he manages to make the trip to Maryland this Sunday, he will surely want to take a side visit to the White House. It could be the only time all month that Coach K gets to see a W.
Duke’s February struggles are relevant to numerous aspects associated with the month. February is well-known as Black History Month. Blue Devil fans are honoring the occasion by reflecting on heroes such as Johnny Dawkins, Grant Hill, and Shane Battier – desperately wishing they could still suit up for Duke. Also, the birthstone for February is the purple gem amethyst. On exposure to heat, amethyst generally becomes yellow. The same is true of Duke center Josh McRoberts.
Several notable days in February also relate to the Blue Devils. On Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil did not predict six more weeks of winter. However, Phil was reportedly heard whispering, “But Duke has four more weeks of losing.” On Valentine’s Day, the Devils will visit Boston College. In a nod to the Kay Jewelers commercials, the key phrase for Krzyzewski’s poor shooters will be “Every miss begins with K.” Finally, Presidents’ Day will bring a reminder that the only Duke alumnus to serve as U.S. President was Richard Nixon. Like the man who left office more than two years early, Duke’s struggles during crunch time show that they can’t finish the job, either.
The Blue Devils will get another crack at UNC on March 4. They will be decisive underdogs to knock off Roy Williams and his Tar Heels in the Dean Smith Center. But at least they won’t be in February anymore.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Bilas To Receive Police Protection In Chapel Hill
This Saturday, ESPN’s College GameDay crew will be in Chapel Hill for the North Carolina – Georgia Tech matchup. Hordes of Carolina blue-clad fans will be seen behind Rece Davis and company during their analyses. Some other men in blue will also be on hand in the Dean Smith Center. Analyst Jay Bilas will receive police protection during his visit to Chapel Hill.
As documented in a GameDay commercial, Bilas was the target of constant harassment during his last trip to UNC. A cafeteria worker flatly refused to serve him chocolate pudding. The employee, a huge Pink Floyd fan, later remarked, “If you played for Coach K, you can’t have any pudding!!! How can you have any pudding if you played for Coach K???” The former Duke hoopster was also abused while trying to eat his meal, being hit by backpacks and having his chair rammed repeatedly. Reportedly, each time a UNC student made contact with Bilas, Shane Battier instinctively flopped to the ground in Houston.
Those were just the attacks that were captured on camera. Bilas suffered numerous other indignities around Chapel Hill. While he tried to enjoy a beer at He’s Not Here, customers around Bilas dumped blue cups of Natural Light on his head. On campus, one man repeatedly screamed at him that he was going to hell. However, that was just the infamous Pit Preacher, who said the same thing to everyone.
Later Bilas was found tied up to UNC’s enduring symbol, the Old Well. A note was attached to him with the words “In Hubert We Trust.” He told authorities that he hadn’t been tortured like that since the last time he watched a Duke football game. Reached for comment, GameDay analyst and former Tar Heel guard Hubert Davis remarked with a grin, “I don’t know how that happened to Duke Boy.” Asked for his thoughts on the incidents, ESPN commentator Dick Vitale responded, “Duke Duke Duke Coach K Cameron Crazies, Baby!!!!!!” He gave the same response later when asked about the Iraq war.
Bilas joined former Notre Dame coach Digger Phelps as a GameDay analyst to be targeted by overzealous fans. In February 2005, the crew was in Syracuse for a Big East showdown between the Orange and the Fighting Irish. Someone broke into Digger’s hotel room, stealing all his highlighters and replacing them with highlighters that did not match his ties. The culprit also covered the room with photos of Danny Ainge in a BYU uniform. The primary suspect wears glasses and has a receding hairline, and he has reportedly been seen roaming the sidelines at the Carrier Dome.
To make Saturday’s trip to Chapel Hill less eventful, ESPN decided that an extra police presence would be needed. The officers assigned to protect Bilas were carefully selected and are considered sympathetic to him in the hostile environment. Officer Redick is considered the top marksman on the force, although some claim that his shooting is wildly off-target in crucial situations. He will be accompanied by Officer Wojo, who responds to threatening situations by emphatically slapping the floor.
As for the game, the fourth-ranked Tar Heels enter the contest with the Yellow Jackets after a 77-55 rout over Clemson. The home loss was a major disappointment for the 16th-ranked Tigers. But at least Clemson, 0-52 lifetime at UNC, was spared a trip to Chapel Hill this season. Jay Bilas was not so lucky.
Friday, March 24, 2006
LSU Caps Successful Season For UNC Fans
In October,
Three things needed to take place for this to be considered a successful year for
Secondly, UNC would have to continue its home winning streak against Clemson. On February 4,
The final key to a successful season for UNC fans was that Duke could not win the national championship. Last year,
The Blue Devils appeared to be a major threat to bring home the trophy this season. They finished 14-2 in conference and won the ACC tournament. As a result, they entered the NCAA tournament as the #1 overall seed. However, those credentials and the presence of Mike Krzyzewski on the bench could not offset a phrase that will cause nightmares for Dukies for years to come: “J.J. Redick in March.”
In LSU’s 62-54 victory last night, Redick finished with 11 points on 3-18 shooting. Over his career, in games during the Sweet 16 and beyond, he shot 24-87 (28%) from the field. As a result, college basketball observers are speculating that “J.J.” stands for “Jittery Jumpers.” However, Redick apparently has an admirer in Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. The Duke guard was able to accomplish what Manning has been unable to do so far: play his best ball in January.
So even though George Mason is in action tonight instead of the Tar Heels, UNC fans will be in a good mood. The loss to the Patriots was disappointing, particularly since you would not expect an entire state (
From this point on, Tar Heel supporters will only have to see Coach K when his Chevy commercials appear on the screen. It’s the second straight year that Krzyzewski’s ads have run endlessly during the tournament. It’s also the second straight tournament in which the top-seeded Blue Devils have failed to reach the Elite Eight. With that in mind, expect UNC fans to lobby for more endorsement opportunities for Coach K.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Curse of the Hemrino Haunts Duke
This week’s issue of Sports Illustrated features Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison and Duke’s J.J. Redick on the cover. Blue Devil fans may have feared the worst when seeing that photo of their All-American. However, Duke’s two losses this week resulted from a far more powerful force than the SI cover jinx. The Devils were victimized by the vaunted Curse of the Hemrino.
Dickie Hemric excelled on the basketball court for
Hemric’s promise appears to be coming to fruition. In their first contest since the record was broken, the top-ranked Blue Devils were upset 79-74 by
In its next game, Duke returned home for a showdown with bitter rival
Hemric’s efforts caused Duke to accomplish a dubious feat: losing two consecutive games as the #1 team in the nation. Noticing a promising trend, rival ACC coaches will probably vote to keep Duke in the top spot. However, only one of them will be fortunate enough to draw the Blue Devils in Friday’s quarterfinals. Thanks to Hemric, that lucky team’s place in the semifinals is assured.
Even Redick seemed to know that setting the record could lead to disaster. His performance tailed off the closer he got to the mark. He scored a season-low 11 points in the record-setting game against
Coach Mike Krzyzewski appears to see the writing on the wall. In an attempt to combat the curse, Coach K attempted to enroll Curt Schilling as a Duke student. Although K is Schilling’s favorite letter, Krzyzewski’s efforts were unsuccessful. As a result, the coach will skip future practices in order to make more commercials. Coach K is always eager to display his sense of humor – best shown when he started Steve Wojciechowski at point guard.
Redick is still certain to be named ACC player of the year. On the other hand,
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
A Carolina-Duke Recap, In Iambic Heptameter
Duke’s J.J. Redick is well-known as a high scorer and deadly perimeter shooter. He also has gained attention for writing horrendous poetry. Much to the chagrin of UNC fans and Duke-haters everywhere, he’s been far more effective with the basketball than he is with a pen. However, while my three-point prowess lags well behind his, I shoot fewer airballs with my verse. With that in mind, here’s a poetic summary of last night’s North Carolina-Duke contest.
The game was anxiously awaited throughout
An upset in the rivalry would generate huge thrills
Last year the hated Dukies won in Cameron by a point
Then
The Heels made sure the fans would feel an even greater joy
When one month later they made a national champion out of
But many thought the next campaign would simply go to hell
Since all the guys they knew were gone, except David Noel
The scene was different for the rivals just eight miles away
They became the favorites as Redick and Williams chose to stay
Another title for Coach K would drive Duke-haters mad
And he would truly make them vomit with those AmEx ads
So in November these teams had a different set of goals
The Devils were number 1, but the Heels were left out of the polls
But UNC surprised, with all the freshmen stepping up
They laid an egg at USC but beat
Although they’re not the top dog, NIT-bound they just ain’t
With Coach Roy on the sideline and
But Redick’s been a superstar with 28 a game
Like Laettner back in ’92, opponents curse his name
His Dukies struggled at home against the Hokies and FSU
But only
So Duke was a clear favorite in the matchup Tuesday night
But the home fans hoped to storm the court with feverish delight
Last year’s heroes Felton, May and Manuel were in town
But they just watched, and at the half the Heels were five points down
After the break their sloppy play caused Coach Williams to scream
“You’re killing me – stop passing the ball right to the other team!”
So all five starters came out with the Heels 17 behind
But the subs reduced the deficit and answered Coach’s call
Even Quentin Thomas didn’t throw away the ball
The starters then returned and proved to all the Heels weren’t dead
They crashed the boards and hit some 3’s, and soon they were ahead
The upset seemed attainable as fans stayed on their feet
But one guy spoiled all their plans for a party on
His first three years in crunch time, his shot attempts would brick
But this time
He scored 22 in the second half for a total of 35
Now Morrison’s chance at the Wooden Award is no longer alive
The Heels did close to one after Redick passed into the stands
But next time when he lost the ball, it wound up in Paulus’s hands
Needing a three to tie,
It’s moments like that the Heels could really use Rashad McCants
The Devils escaped after Danny Green’s last shot was off the mark
Now they’ll feel more hatred Saturday in
There are no moral victories, but surely
His gritty team will feel no fear in front of the Cameron crowd
But last year was the time for UNC to have the glory
They’ll be contenders again next year, but now it’s a different story
Like 2004, the Final Four is in the Dukies’ plans
So just like then, expect
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Clemson Looks To Add Chapel Hill High School To Schedule
On Saturday, North Carolina defeated Clemson 76-61 in the Dean Smith Center. The setback was par for the course for the Tigers, who amazingly have never won in Chapel Hill. However, the school plans to take a step to change that statistic. Clemson is close to adding a road game at Chapel Hill High School to its schedule.
Clearly things have not been working against the Tar Heels. Saturday's defeat was the Tigers' 52nd consecutive in their trips to Chapel Hill. The streak ties the Division 1 record for the most consecutive road losses to an opponent. Brown dropped the same number in a row at Princeton before breaking through with a victory in February 2003. The defeat infuriated Princeton alumnus Donald Rumsfeld, leading to the following month's invasion of Iraq.
UNC has generally had the better team in the matchups, but Clemson has fizzled even when it seemingly has had a decent chance. In 1990, the Dale Davis and Elden Campbell-led Tigers finished first in the ACC standings, but they fell 83-60 at the Smith Center. In 1997, a Sweet 16-bound Clemson squad faced a Tar Heel team that entered with a 2-4 ACC record, but UNC emerged with a 61-48 triumph. The Tigers could not even capitalize on a development that should have guaranteed them a victory in Chapel Hill - the coaching tenure of Matt Doherty. Clemson players do not even bother trying to pick up Carolina girls while they are in town, since they clearly have been unable to score or get lucky in Chapel Hill.
Exasperated by this grim history in that city, Clemson is desperate to change things. The Tigers have an eight-day layoff before the Wake Forest game on February 22 in Winston-Salem. Clemson could fill that void without much additional travel by making a trip to Chapel Hill on the 20th. Chapel Hill High's season will be over by then, so scheduling conflicts are not an issue. Critics charge that a high school team could not possibly compete with an ACC program. Clemson head coach Oliver Purnell countered, "Have you seen how we play in that town?"
The teams share the same nickname, so fans could look forward to seeing "Tigers vs. Tigers." Chapel Hill High is 3-19 after Friday's 59-38 loss to Durham Riverside. Therefore, they would only be a three-point favorite against Clemson. Purnell is confident that his team can break through and finally win in Chapel Hill. A victory may not impress the NCAA tournament selection committee, but it could earn Clemson an invitation to the North Carolina high school state playoffs.
Clemson is eagerly anticipating this possible matchup and the tremendous relief a victory would bring. In the meantime, the expansion of the ACC has brought more good news for the Tigers. Next season, they don't have to play at UNC.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
UNC To End Pacific Time Zone Games
On Wednesday night, USC upset #17 North Carolina 74–59 in the Los Angeles Sports Arena. Some viewed the loss as an inevitable down game for the young Tar Heels. However, the defeat was just the latest in Carolina’s ongoing struggles on the west coast. As a result, the program has decided to stop playing games in the Pacific time zone.
With the latest defeat, UNC has dropped five of its last six contests on Pacific time. Last year, the eventual national champion Tar Heels opened the season in Oakland against a Santa Clara squad that ultimately finished 15–16. Naturally, the Broncos dominated in a 77–66 stunner. The upset particularly inspired SCU alumnus Steve Nash, leading to something far more improbable: a guy from Canada being the NBA MVP.
The Santa Clara game was part of the Pete Newell Challenge, in which Carolina also lost to California in December 1998. That 1998–99 season ended in Seattle with a shocking 76–74 first round defeat to Weber State. The upset ensured that the name of Harold “The Show” Arcenaux, who scored 36 points for the Wildcats, would be part of “Where Are They Now?” features every March for eternity. UNC also was hampered by the pronunciation of its opponent. Carolina has no problem with adversaries pronounced “WEB-er,” as shown by its title-game wins over Chris Webber and Bruce Weber in 1993 and 2005, respectively. However, the Heels were confused by playing “WEE-ber” State and suffered an early exit.
Even legendary coach Dean Smith was not immune to such troubles. His final game in the Pacific time zone was a 1995 Final Four showdown with Arkansas in Seattle. The Razorbacks came out on top, 75–68. The Emerald City was also the site for a 1988 regional final defeat to Arizona. In 1968, Smith’s first coaching experience in the NCAA championship game resulted in a 78–55 thumping at the hands of UCLA in the Los Angeles Sports Arena. The Final Four returned there four years later, as UNC fell to Florida State in the semifinals. Needless to say, Coach Smith did not collaborate with Randy Newman in writing “I Love L.A.”
Since 1989, Carolina’s only victory on Pacific time occurred in December 2000. The Heels left Pauley Pavilion with an 80–70 triumph over UCLA. However, that victory occurred with Matt Doherty as head coach. With the Doherty era, none of the normal rules of UNC basketball apply.
Interestingly, the Tar Heels have excelled when traveling beyond the Pacific time zone. Last November, Carolina rebounded from the Santa Clara setback to win the Maui Invitational. UNC also won in Maui in 1999, and in 1997 the Heels claimed their third Great Alaska Shootout championship. As a result, the school’s athletic department is lobbying to hold a future ACC tournament in Tahiti.
However, last night’s defeat proved that the Pacific time zone is a black hole for Carolina. At USC, whose football bandwagon is as large as the Titanic, the basketball program is apparently still a rumor. The visit from the defending national champions drew less than 6000 spectators to the Sports Arena. Approximately 1000 of those reportedly were lured with a false promise that they would get to dance on the court with Matt Leinart. However, geography ensured that the favored Heels had no chance. As a result, the program will refuse any Pacific time zone games for future seasons.
The decision could cause a change in philosophy for head coach Roy Williams, who has always recruited well in the Golden State. Carolina traditionally plays a “homecoming game” for its upperclassmen, and this year’s powerhouse recruiting class includes Californians Alex Stepheson from North Hollywood and Deon Thompson from Torrance. In next year’s UNC media guide, do not be surprised if Stepheson is listed as a Hollywood, Florida native. Also, Thompson’s hometown of Torrance will be described as a suburb (a very distant one) of Cleveland.
Fortunately for the Tar Heels, no other trips to the Pacific time zone are scheduled this season. However, if the young team reaches the NCAA tournament, it had better avoid the Oakland region. The pod system means that a first round trip to San Diego is unlikely. However, two wins would bring them to the Bay Area. Overcoming inexperience is one thing. Defeating the time zone gods is an entirely different matter.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
UNC vs. Illinois: Then and Now
On Tuesday, Illinois defeated North Carolina 68–64 in the ACC-Big Ten Challenge. Of course, the outcome was a reversal of the NCAA championship game on April 4, won 75–70 by the Tar Heels. Besides Dee Brown’s presence in the Illinois backcourt, just about everything else was different this time around. Here’s how the April 4 and November 29 matchups stack up with each other.
April 4: Illinois starter James Augustine fouls out with zero points.
November 29: Augustine earns player of the game honors with 13 points and 13 rebounds. He suppresses his urge to yell, “How you like me now!” at UNC players because no one he remembers from April is still on the team.
April 4: UNC center Sean May dominates with 26 points and 10 rebounds.
November 29: May sits out the Charlotte Bobcats’ loss to Sacramento with a sore knee. He refers to his seat on the bench as the “Augustine in the title game view.”
April 4: UNC and Illinois enter coming off victories over perennial powers Michigan State and Louisville, respectively.
November 29: UNC and Illinois enter coming off victories over perennial… well, they beat Cal-Santa Barbara and Rutgers. Gauchos and Scarlet Knights are cool nicknames.
April 4: The Illini appear to be the state’s only hope for a championship.
November 29: The White Sox are World Series champions, and the Bears are a legitimate possibility to play in the Super Bowl. The Cubs remain a lost cause.
April 4: Freshman Marvin Williams is UNC’s sixth man, with three juniors and two seniors in the starting lineup.
November 29: Freshman Danny Green is UNC’s sixth man, with three other freshmen in the starting lineup. So his last name is also descriptive of his team. Almost as much as Duke guard John Hatedbymillions.
April 4: Luther Head and Marvin Williams are on opposing teams, with a combined record of 69–5. Williams’s Heels defeat Head’s Illini.
November 29: Head and Williams are on opposing teams, with a combined record of 5–21. Head’s Rockets, boosted by the return of injured star Tracy McGrady, defeat Williams’s Hawks. Of course, a team led by Tracey Ullman could beat Atlanta.
April 4: UNC head coach Roy Williams gives his team an inspiring locker room speech before they take the floor.
November 29: Williams introduces his players to each other in the locker room.
November 29: The game is played in the Dean Smith Center, named for a legendary coach with 879 career victories.
April 4: The game is played in the Edward Jones Dome, named for Memphis Grizzlies swingman Eddie Jones – the first active NBA player to have an NFL venue named after him. And yes, I reversed the order of the dates this time to fit the joke. It’s my column, and I’ll break the rules as I see fit!
April 4 (Are you happy now?): Game coverage is followed by the traditional “One Shining Moment” song.
November 29: Game coverage is followed by an Overstock.com commercial with a Christmas jingle.
April 4: Coach Williams ends his suffering as he captures his elusive first national championship.
November 29: Illinois coach Bruce Weber continues his suffering, having broken his ankle the previous day while doing yardwork. Weber blames “Desperate Housewives” for the injury – he had refused to hire any gardeners, fearing them as homewreckers.
Both teams are thankful for one difference between the two games. They won’t lose anyone to the NBA after this one.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Three Points, Times Two, In Tar Heel Escapes
“Relief” was the word of the day in Chapel Hill on Saturday as UNC twice averted hugely embarrassing defeats. Both the football and basketball teams eked out three-point victories when defeat would have brought an onslaught of ridicule.
First, the gridiron Heels edged Duke 24–21 in Kenan Stadium. The lowly Blue Devils entered the game at 1–9, with the only victory coming over Division 1–AA VMI. The program bears no resemblance to the perennial basketball powerhouse in Durham. 62 percent of students polled at the Duke-Seton Hall basketball game on Wednesday were unaware that the school had a football team. The football program’s marketing campaign features two slogans: “Steve Spurrier coached here 16 years ago!” and “Duke Football: Your source for comedy since ‘Seinfeld’ ended.”
However, UNC found itself trailing 21–17 late in the fourth quarter. Ronnie McGill, the star of the game with 146 yards rushing, scored on a 3–yard touchdown run with 1:38 remaining to give Carolina the victory. With the win, the 5–5 Heels kept their bowl hopes alive. However, they will have to triumph as heavy underdogs next Saturday at Virginia Tech to extend their season. Also, the NCAA may rule that any team who needs to rally in the waning minutes to defeat Duke is automatically unworthy of a bowl invitation.
While not pretty, the victory was UNC’s 15th in the last 16 editions of the series. The Victory Bell, kept in custody by the winner, will soon officially be renamed the Tar Heel Bell. The lowly Blue Devils (journalists are prohibited from simply writing “the Blue Devils” in a football context) were philosophical about the latest defeat. Head coach Ted Roof remarked, “There are no moral victories. We came in here to win and… Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I’ll take a moral victory! We came close to not losing – that’s awesome, dude!”
After the narrow escape in Kenan Stadium, the basketball Tar Heels won 83–80 over Gardner-Webb, which sounds more like a brokerage company than a basketball team. While an upset would have raised eyebrows around the nation, a loss in the Smith Center would have been far less surprising to informed Carolina fans than one on the football field. Coming off a national championship season, UNC lost its top seven scorers and started three freshmen on Saturday. The opposing Bulldogs, on the other hand, finished first in the American Sun Conference last year and returned all five starters. That being said, a loss by UNC would have meant this: “NORTH CAROLINA LOSES TO GARDNER-WEBB!”
The victory came in dramatic fashion as senior David Noel nailed the winning three-pointer with 1.8 seconds remaining. Last year in crunch time, the Heels could look to lottery picks Raymond Felton, Sean May, Rashad McCants, and Marvin Williams. In Saturday’s game, the go-to guy was a former walk-on who averaged 3.9 points per game last season. However, this year’s team proved that they are far superior on November 19 to last year’s juggernaut, which fell on that date to Santa Clara. From November 20 forward, last year’s Heels get the nod.
Carolina’s next contest is Tuesday against Cleveland State. Unless the Cleveland Cavaliers were scheduled by mistake, the Heels figure to cruise. Ultimately UNC will land in the tournament again this year, but inconsistency will be a prominent theme in Chapel Hill. This is to be expected with a roster so young, you expect to see “Hogwarts” on the front of their uniforms. At least they passed their first test on Saturday, thereby avoiding the constant, “Are you kidding me? You lost to WHO???” catcalls.
Thus, on Saturday night, Tar Heel fans could collectively exhale. Across the country, Stanford was less fortunate. The 13th-ranked Cardinal hoopsters endured a 79–63 thumping by UC-Irvine at Maples Pavilion. Then the football team rolled over and died in a 27–3 home loss in “The Sorta Big Game” versus Cal. As a result, students on campuses nationwide were united in one thought: “I’m so glad I don’t go to Stanford.”
