The 1993 Runner-up Jinx

Less than a month after trading Bobby Abreu and many others, the Philadelphia Phillies are just one game out of the wild card lead in the National League. This Saturday, Charlie Weis leads a highly-touted Notre Dame squad into its opener at Georgia Tech. Both teams have hopes of playing for a championship. However, to do so, each must overcome a fearsome obstacle: the 1993 Runner-up Jinx.


In the major American sports, not one runner-up from the 1993 season has made it back to the championship round since then. After Joe Carter took Mitch Williams deep, the Phillies have not gotten close to the World Series again. In fact, they have not reached the postseason at all during that time, to the chagrin of Philly’s title-starved fans. The city’s resistance to championships has even caused an unprecedented decision by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. Academy members stripped Tom Hanks of his first Oscar, ruling that no one from Philadelphia could have legitimately won a title.


Notre Dame also finished the 1993 season at number two. The Fighting Irish have not been in the national championship mix since then. Incredibly, they have not even won a bowl game during that time, dropping eight in a row. As a result, Notre Dame lost its luster in comparison to other top programs. Symbolizing this fall in power was the sequel to Rudy, in which Rudy transfers to USC.


Perhaps most emblematic of the 1993 Runner-up Jinx are the Buffalo Bills. The 1993 season was the fourth in a row that Buffalo concluded by losing in the Super Bowl. In the early 90’s, the Bills played second fiddle as reliably as Ed McMahon. They even impacted the 1992 presidential campaign. The word “Bill” was so synonymous with runner-up status, Arkansas governor Clinton refused to reveal his first name until after he had won the election. However, Buffalo has not been a part of the past 12 Super Bowls. Therefore, the NFC representative could no longer be certain of victory.


After losing a classic six-game series to the Chicago Bulls in 1993, the Phoenix Suns have not returned to the NBA finals. The team has been close recently, falling in the conference finals the past two years. Two-time league MVP Steve Nash recently took action to try to take the next step. Noting that the 1993 Suns made it to the finals thanks to a bald MVP (Charles Barkley), Nash decided to shave off his famous hair, sporting a new buzz cut. The move seems to be a desperate ploy to overcome the ’93 Jinx, as Nash is less likely to be compared to Barkley than to Natalie Portman in V For Vendetta.


Another Canadian native with famous hair is mullet icon Barry Melrose, head coach of the 1993 Stanley Cup finalist Los Angeles Kings. As part of the familiar theme, the Kings have not returned to the final round since losing to the Montreal Canadiens that June. That run was the last time they even made the playoffs with Wayne Gretzky before The Great One was traded to St. Louis in 1996. Gretzky’s departure from Los Angeles was reportedly due to his well-publicized feud with Kobe Bryant.


So far, 1993 has refrained from commenting on the jinx. However, a source close to 1993 provided possible insight on the year’s reasons for imposing the hex. He noted, “1992 was an Olympic and presidential election year. 1994 was an Olympic and World Cup year. 1991 was a palindrome, which is a cool thing. 1993 just had the same events you see every year, so it didn’t feel special. But I guarantee you, all those runner-up teams remember 1993 now!”


Certainly the Michigan basketball program realizes the power of the 1993 Runner-up Jinx. The Wolverines fell to North Carolina in a classic NCAA final best remembered for Chris Webber’s infamous time-out. Michigan has not reached the Final Four since then. The program is so desperate to escape the jinx, it has erased all records noting its championship game appearance and has removed the corresponding banner from Crisler Arena. The measures apparently did not fool 1993, which even extended its jinx to keep Webber out of the finals during his NBA career. However, showing that it has a sense of humor, 1993 has allowed the Wolverines to make three finals appearances in the NIT.


Tennis fans are currently enjoying the U.S. Open, but they are aware that the jinx even extended to that event. The 1993 men’s runner-up was Cedric Pilone, who fell in straight sets to Pete Sampras and never returned to the U.S. Open final. Second place on the women’s side was Helena Sukova, who never again played in the championship round at Flushing Meadow. She lost in straight sets to Steffi Graf in the 1993 finals. Sukova is convinced that if the result had been reversed, she would have been the one to win the U.S. Open again in 1995 and 1996, and later marry Andre Agassi.


Despite the power of the 1993 Runner-up Jinx, the Phillies and Fighting Irish defiantly hold out hope to play in the World Series and BCS national championship game, respectively. It helps to have Ryan Howard or Brady Quinn on your side. However, if the teams fall short, 1993 will mischievously remind Mr. Manuel and Mr. Weis of the classic StarKist Tuna commercials: “Sorry Charlie!”

Bambino Cursed in 21st Century

After a seemingly endless chase, Barry Bonds hit his 715th home run on Sunday to pass Babe Ruth for second place on the all-time list. The 20th century was a glorious time for the Bambino, but things have not been so rosy for the Yankee legend since the new century began on January 1, 2001. Indeed, the 21st century has been very unkind to the ghost of Babe Ruth.


There was no hint of the Babe’s upcoming misfortune as the 20th century ended, as his impact still loomed over the game in numerous ways. In 1998, The Sporting News named Ruth as #1 on its list of baseball’s 100 all-time greatest players. His New York Yankees won the last three World Series of the century, and thanks to his curse, the Boston Red Sox were still 82 years removed from their last title. Even his birthplace was celebrated as Oriole Park at Camden Yards, built a block from his boyhood home, drew rave reviews after opening in 1992. Ruth’s ghost often watched the action at the new ballpark, and according to legend, he caused Brady Anderson’s monster 1996 season by wagering the ghost of Ty Cobb that “I can get any chump to hit 50 taters.” Ruth added, “Mmmm… taters.”


As the turn of the century neared, even those named Babe or Ruth experienced success. In 1993, Ruth Bader Ginsburg became the second woman to serve on the United States Supreme Court. The 1995 film Babe captured hearts and was a Best Picture Academy Award nominee. Fortunately for the title pig, his namesake slugger was not alive, or he might have celebrated by roasting the swine on a barbecue spit.


2001 brought a downturn in the Bambino’s fortunes. Bonds served notice that he would someday pass the Babe by smacking a record 73 home runs. Also, the Yankees fell short in their bid for a fourth straight title, dropping a classic World Series to the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Bronx Bombers have not won the Fall Classic since then, losing to the Florida Marlins in the 2003 edition. In the meantime, his old neighborhood has seen lousy baseball, with the Orioles finishing every season this century with a losing record. One would expect the Babe to distract himself with alcohol, but Camden Yards has a strict policy against selling beer to ghosts.


Most painful, of course, were the 2004 playoffs. The Red Sox finally broke the Curse of the Bambino, sweeping the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series. Earlier, Boston had rallied from three games down to embarrass New York in the ALCS. Yankee Stadium, where the Red Sox won games 6 and 7, was once known as “The House That Ruth Built.” Now it is called “The House that Papi Owns.” Ruth’s resulting drop in the curse hierarchy was quite embarrassing. He could deal with getting passed by Hank Aaron in 1974. However, being surpassed by a billy goat was just humiliating.


Additionally, the names Babe and Ruth have taken a hit over the past few years. Mythical lumberjack Paul Bunyan recently announced that his blue ox has made a long overdue change in his name. Formerly known as Babe, he now goes by Hank. Also, Maxim had planned a “Babes Named Ruth” edition in honor of the slugger’s legendary skirt-chasing. However, the magazine scrapped the issue, as not enough hot girls named Ruth could be found.


As the Barry Bonds home run circus subsides, Babe Ruth must come to grips with the weakening of his aura. If the hardships continue, the Bambino will face the same consequence of all Yankees who struggle. George Steinbrenner will call him out in the media.

Curse of the Hemrino Haunts Duke

This week’s issue of Sports Illustrated features Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison and Duke’s J.J. Redick on the cover.  Blue Devil fans may have feared the worst when seeing that photo of their All-American.  However, Duke’s two losses this week resulted from a far more powerful force than the SI cover jinx.  The Devils were victimized by the vaunted Curse of the Hemrino.

 

 

Dickie Hemric excelled on the basketball court for Wake Forest from 1952 through 1955.  He finished his career as the all-time leading scorer in the Atlantic Coast Conference with 2,587 points.  That mark stood for 51 years until last weekend, when Redick passed Hemric in a victory over Temple.  In response to his record being broken, the former Demon Deacon reportedly placed a curse on Redick’s Blue Devils.  Hemric vowed that Duke would not win another game during Redick’s career.

 

 

Hemric’s promise appears to be coming to fruition.  In their first contest since the record was broken, the top-ranked Blue Devils were upset 79-74 by Florida State.  However, unlike what you’d see in a run-of-the-mill surprise, strange things were happening in Tallahassee.  The Seminole fans did not bother to wait until the end of the game to storm the court.  Florida State shot 23 more free throws than Duke.  And proving that something completely unexplainable was in the air, an FSU football player was spotted that night in the library.

 

 

In its next game, Duke returned home for a showdown with bitter rival North Carolina.  Hemric’s spell worked again, as the Tar Heels captured an 83-76 victory.  Once again, bizarre forces were at work.  The four UNC freshmen who saw action, led by Tyler Hansbrough’s 27 points, outscored the four Duke seniors 55-51.  Redick missed 15 of his final 16 shots, possibly distracted by a group of Florida State fans who stormed the court during the first half.  And the Blue Devils didn’t just taste defeat on ESPN – they lost on three different ESPN channels.  Today the network is labeling Hemric “the worldwide leader in curses.”

 

 

Hemric’s efforts caused Duke to accomplish a dubious feat: losing two consecutive games as the #1 team in the nation.  Noticing a promising trend, rival ACC coaches will probably vote to keep Duke in the top spot.  However, only one of them will be fortunate enough to draw the Blue Devils in Friday’s quarterfinals.  Thanks to Hemric, that lucky team’s place in the semifinals is assured.

 

 

Even Redick seemed to know that setting the record could lead to disaster.  His performance tailed off the closer he got to the mark.  He scored a season-low 11 points in the record-setting game against Temple.  Selfishly, he decided to pass Hemric, rather than inventing a season-ending injury a few points short.  Now his teammates will suffer the consequences.  Shelden Williams surely wishes that Redick had heeded Hemric’s warning: “Beware the bricks of March.”

 

 

Coach Mike Krzyzewski appears to see the writing on the wall.  In an attempt to combat the curse, Coach K attempted to enroll Curt Schilling as a Duke student.  Although K is Schilling’s favorite letter, Krzyzewski’s efforts were unsuccessful.  As a result, the coach will skip future practices in order to make more commercials.  Coach K is always eager to display his sense of humor – best shown when he started Steve Wojciechowski at point guard.

 

 

Redick is still certain to be named ACC player of the year.  On the other hand, North Carolina will be sure of one thing if it wins the conference tournament.  Hansbrough may be the Tar Heels’ best player, but Dickie Hemric will be the MVP.

Curse of the Brand-ino

Seeking their first playoff birth in 12 years, the Phillies lost 2–1 to the Astros Tuesday night.  The defeat was Philadelphia’s 11th straight against Houston.  Let me repeat – 11 IN A ROW!  Something to be expected – if you’re Vanderbilt against Tennessee.  But not from a major league club with postseason aspirations.  Then again, the Phils may be fighting a force more powerful than a Roger Clemens fastball: The Curse of the Brand-ino.

 

Brandon Duckworth is a right-handed pitcher who came up through the Phillies organization.  He went 15–18 over parts of three seasons in Philadelphia before being packaged with two minor leaguers in a November 2003 trade for Astros closer Billy Wagner.  Wagner has been a great closer for the Phils, so at first glance the deal appears to have benefited the club.  But in reality, Philadelphia may have cost itself dearly by incurring Duckworth’s wrath, calling to mind the old saying, “Hell hath no fury like a marginal major league pitcher scorned.”

 

Before 2004, the Phillies always got the better of the Astros when it counted.  Bobby Abreu is in Philadelphia’s outfield because Houston left him unprotected in the expansion draft, allowing Tampa Bay to select him and trade him to the Phillies for the legendary Kevin Stocker.  That was Philly’s best trade since 1992, when the Astros wanted Jason Grimsley so much, they gave up Curt Schilling to get him.  Most significantly, there was the 1980 NLCS.  Down 5–2 after 7 innings in the decisive fifth game and facing Nolan Ryan on the mound, the Phils managed to win in 10 innings.  They went on to win their only World Series championship, while the Astros settled for watching themselves on tape in “The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training.”  Jackie Earle Haley paled in comparison to Tug McGraw’s joyous leap off the mound.

 

But since Philadelphia dealt Duckworth, the club is 0 for 11 against Houston.  Rumor has it that he put a hex on the Phillies, vowing that they would never defeat the Astros again.  Duckworth apparently hoped that as a pitcher who places a curse on his old team, he would go on to be a record-setting home run hitter.  Or maybe a fat guy who plays with hangovers, I’m not sure.

 

Although Duckworth has spent more time in AAA than with the big league club since the trade, his shadow looms large over this series.  Taking no chances, Houston recalled him prior to the trip to Philly.  Two one-run victories have resulted, and the Astros even defeated Wagner in Tuesday night’s game.  Duckworth surely put his Billy Wagner voodoo doll to use in the ninth inning.

 

Most baseball observers agree that a right-handed pitcher acquired after the 2003 season has helped put the Astros into the wild-card lead.  But Philadelphia knows that his name is not Roger Clemens.  Tonight the Phillies have their last chance of the season to overcome the Curse of the Brand-ino.  If they don’t, the losing streak may last 86 years.  Note to security personnel at Citizens Bank Park: if Duckworth shows up with a goat, let the goat in!