UNC Requests ACC Tournament Move To Cameron

The Atlantic Coast Conference men’s basketball tournament is scheduled for Charlotte Bobcats Arena this Thursday through Sunday. However, top-seeded North Carolina is seeking a last-minute change to the proceedings. UNC has requested that the tournament be moved to Cameron Indoor Stadium in Durham.


The development comes in the wake of Saturday’s 76-68 victory by the Tar Heels over Duke. The win was UNC’s third in a row at Cameron, leaving senior Quentin Thomas as the only Tar Heel to have experienced defeat at the famous venue. At this point, the junior class led by national player of the year front-runner Tyler Hansbrough considers games at Cameron to be automatic victories. Therefore, the players begged coach Roy Williams to lobby the ACC to move the tournament there.


Insiders consider the relocation to be highly unlikely, given the logistics of staging such an event and the time frame involved. However, Williams raised a point to illustrate why Cameron would be such an appropriate venue. “The ACC Tournament is a huge event in this region. So why have it in an ARENA when you can hold it in a STADIUM?”


Others charge that staging the tournament on Duke’s home court would impair the neutrality of the event. A potential solution to that problem would be to refer to Cameron as Wallace Wade Stadium during the tournament, since no one ever accuses a Duke team of having a home crowd advantage at Wallace Wade Stadium. The playing surface itself is known as Coach K Court. That name is soon likely to change to Psycho T Court, because Hansbrough and his teammates clearly own the place.


Certainly Dick Vitale would be in favor of such a move, since he would spend every day in Cameron if he could. Not so happy would be the wealthy boosters from each of the twelve ACC schools. Instead of being granted the cushy seats they expected, the boosters would be forced to camp out in tents to get into the games. Even if the move is a longshot, some ACC players are stunned that this scenario has come to light. When asked for comment about UNC’s proposal, Duke point guard Greg Paulus reportedly fainted. However, it turned out that Paulus was simply trying to draw an offensive foul on the interviewer.


If the Heels do not get another opportunity to play in Cameron this week, at least they can reflect on their victorious experience from Saturday. After the game, many Cameron Crazies tried doing shots to drown their sorrows, but they were denied when the shots got blocked by Danny Green. For the third straight season, Senior Night in Cameron led to defeat for the home team. Representing the senior class, likely All-ACC first-teamer DeMarcus Nelson was held to six points. It’s a good thing that the Dukie who made a half-court shot during College GameDay is a graduate student. If he had been a senior, chances are his shot would have gone woefully awry, knocking the highlighter out of Digger Phelps’s hand and breaking Erin Andrews’s nose in Marcia Brady-esque fashion.


Chances are, Carolina will not get to play in the comfort of Cameron Indoor Stadium this weekend. Most fans anticipate a third Tar Heels-Blue Devils matchup in Charlotte on Sunday. If instead, the final matchup is UNC-Clemson, expect the Heels to lobby the ACC for a move once again. They’d definitely want that game in Chapel Hill.

Duke's Unselfish Week

Around the country, the mere mention of the word “Duke” inspires hostility for millions of college basketball fans. However, Mike Krzyzewski and his Blue Devils deserve nothing but appreciation this week. Since Sunday, Duke has been a model of unselfishness.


The team’s exemplary behavior began with its trip to Wake Forest on Sunday night. Duke entered the contest at 10-0 in conference play and 22-1 overall. The prevailing wisdom among bracketologists was that the ACC would only place four of its twelve members into the NCAA tournament. Realizing that Wake could enter that discussion with a marquee victory, the Blue Devils went ahead and made that scenario a reality. As the Demon Deacons prevailed 86-73, Duke could take pride in advancing the cause of the conference. The truly unique aspect of the contest was that all five Blue Devils fouled out of the game. The referees even called three fouls on assistant coach Steve Wojciechowski, for flops he committed as a player in 1998.


Besides boosting Wake’s at-large chances, Duke also helped its biggest fan with the defeat. Dick Vitale recently returned to the airwaves after literally being silenced for much of the season after throat surgery. Knowing that Dickie V would be calling the Memphis-Tennessee showdown this coming Saturday, the Blue Devils wanted to give him the privilege of broadcasting a 1-vs.-2 matchup. With Sunday’s setback, Duke relinquished the #2 ranking in favor of the Volunteers. In gratitude, Vitale promised to mention the Cameron Crazies and Coach K as much as possible during the Tigers-Vols showdown, making it just like every other non-Duke game he broadcasts.


Not content to merely assist the ACC and Dickie V, Coach K advanced the cause of college basketball in general during a radio interview after the Wake loss. Noting that guard Nolan Smith had recently been playing through a knee injury, Coach K remarked, “unlike other schools we don’t release our injuries.” Believing that “other schools” was a thinly-veiled reference to North Carolina, UNC coach Roy Williams shot back on his radio show with a message to “coach their own damn team, I’ll coach my team.” While Roger Clemens, the Daytona 500, and the recent NBA trading frenzy still commanded the sports headlines, there’s nothing like a bit of sniping between the sport’s biggest rivals to get some attention for college basketball. If nothing else, it was much more fun and juicy than talking about Kelvin Sampson’s phone bills. Coach K surely knew that this media frenzy would ensue after making his comments. When it comes to slights against his team, Roy’s skin is thinner than a coked-up runway model.


Duke once again showed its conference loyalty in Wednesday’s 96-95 loss at Miami. The Hurricanes entered on the wrong side of the tournament bubble and desperately needed a high-quality win. Joe Lunardi certainly took notice as the Blue Devils accommodated the hosts with a season-high 23 turnovers. Miami’s Dwayne Collins tallied a career-high 26 points, leaving Duke assistant Chris Collins highly impressed. Remarked Chris, “Who would ever expect a guy named Collins to play so well in a Duke game?”


By dropping consecutive games on the road, Duke also brought joy to the opposing fans. ACC crowds always exert extra energy when the Blue Devils or Tar Heels come for a visit. However, until Sunday, Duke was unblemished in conference play, while UNC’s two defeats both came at home. In losing back-to-back contests, the Blue Devils put a stop to this season’s appalling lack of court-stormings by ACC fans.


It is not surprising that a team led by Coach K would be so unselfish these days. Krzyzewski is a devout Roman Catholic, so Lent is an important time for him. Coach K believes that everyone should be willing to sacrifice something. As a prime example, he cited the Duke football program, which gave up winning when Steve Spurrier left for Florida.


After this string of unselfishness, Duke cannot be blamed if it proceeds to blow out St. John’s this Saturday. However, rival fans have to appreciate the Blue Devils’ efforts in recent days. Only one thing would make them happier: seeing those same results in March.

Top 10 Excuses For Gerald Henderson

Yesterday in the Dean Smith Center, North Carolina completed a regular season sweep of Duke with an 86-72 victory. The rivalry game was fairly unremarkable until 14.5 seconds remained. At that juncture, Duke’s Gerald Henderson bloodied the face of UNC’s Tyler Hansbrough with a flagrant foul, permanently earning villain status in Chapel Hill.

Henderson was ejected and will miss Duke’s first round ACC tournament game versus NC State on Thursday. However, he did have numerous explanations for his already infamous play. Here are the top 10 reasons for Gerald Henderson’s flagrant foul.


10. He wanted to show the Duke football team how to hit someone.

9. He was attempting to block the shot, assuming Hansbrough was trying to shoot his head into the basket.

8. He didn’t feel like playing next Thursday night anyway – that’s Ugly Betty time!

7. Ticky-tack ACC refs insist on calling a foul when you elbow a guy in the face and make him bleed.

6. He would have stepped on him, but he didn’t want to steal Laettner’s move.

5. He just hasn’t been himself since Anna Nicole left us.

4. You’d be pissed off, too, if you went to Duke and wound up on a crappy team.

3. He wanted to prove that unlike J.J. Redick, he could connect in the last 15 seconds of a game.

2. He figured the flagrant foul would be put on Pete Gaudet’s record.

AND…

1. As a Duke defender, he was trying to slap the floor when Hansbrough’s face got in the way.

Heels Keep Duke On Course For Winless February

On January 28, Duke notched an impressive 75-61 victory over Boston College. The win was the fifth in a row for the Blue Devils as they closed out the month. However, the subsequent month has been far less kind to Mike Krzyzewski’s team. Duke appears doomed to endure a winless February.


Last night, the Blue Devils fell to 0-3 during the month with a 79-73 setback to hated rival North Carolina in Cameron Indoor Stadium. Freshmen carried the day on both sides. Jon Scheyer led Duke with a career-high 26 points, while Brandan Wright paced the Tar Heels with 19. Ty Lawson made the difference for UNC with several key plays down the stretch. These standouts would be the week’s most notable Diaper Dandies, if not for psycho astronaut Lisa Nowak.


The victory was Carolina’s second consecutive in Durham, so DeMarcus Nelson is the only Blue Devil to have played in a win over the Heels in Cameron. Sophomore point guard Greg Paulus has not been so fortunate. Yesterday was also national signing day for college football, so his brother Mike made it official that he will play quarterback down the road in Chapel Hill. Unlike Greg, Mike will never have to worry about winning UNC-Duke matchups.


Duke’s misfortune appeared to spread to its alumni in the NBA Wednesday night. Every player from Duke who saw action wound up with a loss. That group was represented by J.J. Redick, Elton Brand, Daniel Ewing, Mike Dunleavy, and Dahntay Jones. Four other Dukies had “DNP” next to their names in the box scores, including Redick’s Orlando Magic teammate Grant Hill. His missing a game due to injury is equally as surprising as seeing Duke players lose in the NBA.


As for the current Blue Devils, their February miseries began with a 68-66 overtime defeat at Virginia on February 1, as Sean Singletary nailed the game-winner with one second remaining. Their next loss came against Florida State, which notched its first victory in Cameron after 15 defeats. Redick’s number was retired at halftime. In a fitting tribute to his Duke days, the Blue Devils failed to hit a shot with the game on the line.


After last night’s defeat, it is clear that February will bring nothing but pain for Duke. In the post-game press conference, Coach K remarked, “I think the key to the game was OW, MY BACK!!!” If he manages to make the trip to Maryland this Sunday, he will surely want to take a side visit to the White House. It could be the only time all month that Coach K gets to see a W.


Duke’s February struggles are relevant to numerous aspects associated with the month. February is well-known as Black History Month. Blue Devil fans are honoring the occasion by reflecting on heroes such as Johnny Dawkins, Grant Hill, and Shane Battier – desperately wishing they could still suit up for Duke. Also, the birthstone for February is the purple gem amethyst. On exposure to heat, amethyst generally becomes yellow. The same is true of Duke center Josh McRoberts.


Several notable days in February also relate to the Blue Devils. On Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil did not predict six more weeks of winter. However, Phil was reportedly heard whispering, “But Duke has four more weeks of losing.” On Valentine’s Day, the Devils will visit Boston College. In a nod to the Kay Jewelers commercials, the key phrase for Krzyzewski’s poor shooters will be “Every miss begins with K.” Finally, Presidents’ Day will bring a reminder that the only Duke alumnus to serve as U.S. President was Richard Nixon. Like the man who left office more than two years early, Duke’s struggles during crunch time show that they can’t finish the job, either.


The Blue Devils will get another crack at UNC on March 4. They will be decisive underdogs to knock off Roy Williams and his Tar Heels in the Dean Smith Center. But at least they won’t be in February anymore.

Dick Vitale Assesses the MLB Division Series

The NCAA basketball season doesn’t tip off until next month, but college hoops icon Dick Vitale is animated as always about the sports world. Also an avid fan of the other “b-ball,” Dickie V is particularly excited about the major league division series. He shared his thoughts in the following interview.


Interviewer: Dickie V, thanks for appearing with us. Let’s start with the NL East champion New York Mets. They cruised to the best record in the National League, but the Los Angeles Dodgers come into Shea Stadium on a roll. How do you see this series shaping up?

Dick Vitale: It’s gonna be super, scintillating, sensational! The Dodgers in the Big Apple – just like their Brooklyn days, baby! When Duke Snider was a PTP’er in centerfield! The fans just loved watching Duke in New York, baby! Which I’ll do December 21 as the Dukies take on Gonzaga in Madison Square Garden! It’s gonna be awesome, baby!

I: Okay…, but there will be plenty of time to talk about the Blue Devils later. Staying in New York, the Yankees are heavy favorites versus the Detroit Tigers. Does Detroit have a chance against the Bronx Bombers?

DV: Justin Verlander was a diaper dandy on the mound this season! And Jim Leyland did an unbelievable job managing that team. But he’s no Coach K, baby! The Yankees are just like the Dukies – everyone loves to hate them because they win, baby! And that lineup – are you serious? It all starts with Johnny Damon, which sounds like Johnny Dawkins - part of an unbelievable coaching staff with Wojo and Chris Collins! They’ll be flat-out awesome as head coaches, baby!

I: Dick, we’re supposed to be talking about baseball here. We all know how you feel about Duke basketball, but please stay on topic. Now…, the St. Louis Cardinals really struggled down the stretch. Can they recover in San Diego against the Padres?

DV: You gotta love Albert Pujols - an All-Rolls Roycer on the diamond, baby!

I: Okay, that’s better…

DV: But I have to go with the Padres and my favorite player, Mike Cameron! His name combines two of my favorite things – Mike Krzyzewski and the Cameron Crazies! The Cardinals have great fans, but they don’t compare to those wackos in Durham, baby! Such enthusiasm! And with perfect SAT scores – they even cured cancer and brought peace to the Middle East, baby!

I: That is completely ridiculous! What world are you living in? Ugggh, why do I even bother? Let’s just get through this. The fourth series pits the Minnesota Twins against the Oakland A’s.

DV: Frank Thomas is awesome for Oakland, baby! He’s the Big Hurt, which is what Josh McRoberts will be in the paint this year! You gotta love the Athletics, ‘cause they remind us that Duke is all that’s right with college athletics…

I: Okay, I’ve heard enough. This was just a waste of…

DV: But the Twins are my pick to hoist the World Series trophy, baby! Johan Santana is a special, special pitcher! And that home crowd will be a huge advantage, going bananas in Minneapolis…

I: Finally! Some actual analysis of the postseason – was that so hard?

DV: It’ll be celebration city in the Metrodome, baby!

I: Okay. Well…

DV: Just like when the Dukies cut down the nets there in ’92 and ’01! Hey, somebody call Christian Laettner! Somebody call Shane Battier! It’ll be just like Durham in the Twin Cities, baby…

I: That’s it! We’re done here!


The interviewer quickly gathered his things and left the scene. Vitale continued to scream, “Coach K is awesome, baby!” while bystanders avoided eye contact. Security soon escorted him from the premises.

LSU Caps Successful Season For UNC Fans

In October, North Carolina fans had no idea what to expect from this season.  Tar Heel supporters were still giddy from last April’s national championship victory, but the loss of the team’s top seven scorers greatly diminished expectations for 2005-06.  Today, UNC fans have a deep sense of satisfaction about this college basketball season.  LSU made sure of that last night, eliminating Duke in the Sweet 16.

 

 

Three things needed to take place for this to be considered a successful year for Carolina fans.  First, the Heels would have to make the NCAA tournament.  UNC accomplished that goal with ease, finishing second in the ACC.  David Noel and Reyshawn Terry flourished in expanded roles, and Tyler Hansbrough left no doubt that he was the top freshman in the nation.  Hansbrough was great at a young age – basically the Dakota Fanning of Tobacco Road.  Except that Dakota can’t post up as well.

 

 

Secondly, UNC would have to continue its home winning streak against Clemson.  On February 4, Carolina moved to 52-0 all-time in Chapel Hill versus the Tigers with a 76-61 triumph.  What’s most amazing about this streak is that it even survived the Matt Doherty era.  When Clemson’s next trip to Chapel Hill appears on the schedule, expect the Tigers to forfeit.  That way, the program can save on travel costs and spare the players from inevitable humiliation.

 

 

The final key to a successful season for UNC fans was that Duke could not win the national championship.  Last year, Carolina supporters rejoiced as Roy Williams and his team ruled college basketball – just three years after a disastrous 8-20 campaign.  With the mass exodus out of Chapel Hill in the off-season, Tar Heel fans acknowledged that the title would more than likely be passed on to someone else this April.  But it had to go far away – not just eight miles up the road.

 

 

The Blue Devils appeared to be a major threat to bring home the trophy this season.  They finished 14-2 in conference and won the ACC tournament.  As a result, they entered the NCAA tournament as the #1 overall seed.  However, those credentials and the presence of Mike Krzyzewski on the bench could not offset a phrase that will cause nightmares for Dukies for years to come: “J.J. Redick in March.”

 

 

In LSU’s 62-54 victory last night, Redick finished with 11 points on 3-18 shooting.  Over his career, in games during the Sweet 16 and beyond, he shot 24-87 (28%) from the field.  As a result, college basketball observers are speculating that “J.J.” stands for “Jittery Jumpers.”  However, Redick apparently has an admirer in Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning.  The Duke guard was able to accomplish what Manning has been unable to do so far: play his best ball in January.

 

 

So even though George Mason is in action tonight instead of the Tar Heels, UNC fans will be in a good mood.  The loss to the Patriots was disappointing, particularly since you would not expect an entire state (North Carolina) to lose to one guy (George Mason).  But after a better-than-expected season and with a tremendous recruiting class on the way, the outlook is very bright in Chapel Hill.  Or, as it’s known today with all the new LSU fans there: East Baton Rouge.

 

 

From this point on, Tar Heel supporters will only have to see Coach K when his Chevy commercials appear on the screen.  It’s the second straight year that Krzyzewski’s ads have run endlessly during the tournament.  It’s also the second straight tournament in which the top-seeded Blue Devils have failed to reach the Elite Eight.  With that in mind, expect UNC fans to lobby for more endorsement opportunities for Coach K.

Curse of the Hemrino Haunts Duke

This week’s issue of Sports Illustrated features Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison and Duke’s J.J. Redick on the cover.  Blue Devil fans may have feared the worst when seeing that photo of their All-American.  However, Duke’s two losses this week resulted from a far more powerful force than the SI cover jinx.  The Devils were victimized by the vaunted Curse of the Hemrino.

 

 

Dickie Hemric excelled on the basketball court for Wake Forest from 1952 through 1955.  He finished his career as the all-time leading scorer in the Atlantic Coast Conference with 2,587 points.  That mark stood for 51 years until last weekend, when Redick passed Hemric in a victory over Temple.  In response to his record being broken, the former Demon Deacon reportedly placed a curse on Redick’s Blue Devils.  Hemric vowed that Duke would not win another game during Redick’s career.

 

 

Hemric’s promise appears to be coming to fruition.  In their first contest since the record was broken, the top-ranked Blue Devils were upset 79-74 by Florida State.  However, unlike what you’d see in a run-of-the-mill surprise, strange things were happening in Tallahassee.  The Seminole fans did not bother to wait until the end of the game to storm the court.  Florida State shot 23 more free throws than Duke.  And proving that something completely unexplainable was in the air, an FSU football player was spotted that night in the library.

 

 

In its next game, Duke returned home for a showdown with bitter rival North Carolina.  Hemric’s spell worked again, as the Tar Heels captured an 83-76 victory.  Once again, bizarre forces were at work.  The four UNC freshmen who saw action, led by Tyler Hansbrough’s 27 points, outscored the four Duke seniors 55-51.  Redick missed 15 of his final 16 shots, possibly distracted by a group of Florida State fans who stormed the court during the first half.  And the Blue Devils didn’t just taste defeat on ESPN – they lost on three different ESPN channels.  Today the network is labeling Hemric “the worldwide leader in curses.”

 

 

Hemric’s efforts caused Duke to accomplish a dubious feat: losing two consecutive games as the #1 team in the nation.  Noticing a promising trend, rival ACC coaches will probably vote to keep Duke in the top spot.  However, only one of them will be fortunate enough to draw the Blue Devils in Friday’s quarterfinals.  Thanks to Hemric, that lucky team’s place in the semifinals is assured.

 

 

Even Redick seemed to know that setting the record could lead to disaster.  His performance tailed off the closer he got to the mark.  He scored a season-low 11 points in the record-setting game against Temple.  Selfishly, he decided to pass Hemric, rather than inventing a season-ending injury a few points short.  Now his teammates will suffer the consequences.  Shelden Williams surely wishes that Redick had heeded Hemric’s warning: “Beware the bricks of March.”

 

 

Coach Mike Krzyzewski appears to see the writing on the wall.  In an attempt to combat the curse, Coach K attempted to enroll Curt Schilling as a Duke student.  Although K is Schilling’s favorite letter, Krzyzewski’s efforts were unsuccessful.  As a result, the coach will skip future practices in order to make more commercials.  Coach K is always eager to display his sense of humor – best shown when he started Steve Wojciechowski at point guard.

 

 

Redick is still certain to be named ACC player of the year.  On the other hand, North Carolina will be sure of one thing if it wins the conference tournament.  Hansbrough may be the Tar Heels’ best player, but Dickie Hemric will be the MVP.

Redick, Morrison Take Player of the Year Competition To Ridiculous Extreme

College basketball’s major storyline this season has been the stirring duel for player of the year honors between Duke’s J.J. Redick and Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison.  Both are the leaders of top 5 teams, and they are the top two scorers in Division 1.  However, both scored a season-low 11 points in their games today.  Apparently, their competition has gotten so extreme, they even decide to stink on the same day.

 

 

Redick went 1-for-6 from the 3-point line and even missed two of his six free throws attempts.  However, thanks to a strong performance by Shelden Williams, Duke turned back Temple 74-66.  More significantly, even in the midst of a subpar performance, Redick became the ACC’s all-time leading scorer, passing Wake Forest’s Dickie Hemric.  Seeing a Blue Devil supplant one of their own is the latest blow in a cruel season for Demon Deacon fans, who have seen Wake sink to the bottom of the ACC standings.  Although the loss of Chris Paul to the NBA has hurt significantly, many observers feel that the college basketball gods are punishing Wake Forest for producing Billy Packer.

 

 

Contributing to Redick’s off-day was the defensive effort of Temple, known for its troublesome matchup zone.  Also, he may have feared that Hemric supporters had contacted Owls head coach John Chaney, requesting that “some of your goons say hi to J.J.”  Indeed, Redick likely experienced some fear around the volatile Chaney.  The sharpshooter is not used to hearing a madman scream so many profanities on the sideline.  Except for every day at practice.

 

 

Morrison shot 3-for-11 from the field in Gonzaga’s 75-59 victory over San Diego.  J.P. Batista’s 26 points enabled the Zags to improve to 24-3 on the season.  The Bulldogs also increased their home-winning streak to a nation’s best 37 games, proving that teams with two nicknames are very difficult to beat.  However, this success has come at a cost.  With such rude treatment to visitors, the Spokane Chamber of Commerce is having a hard time getting people to come to the city.

 

 

Like Temple, San Diego appears to be a tough opponent for a superstar.  The Toreros held Morrison to 16 points in the teams’ earlier meeting – a 64-63 squeaker for Gonzaga.  Reportedly, the All-American was thrown off by confusion about the identity of his opponent.  Morrison apparently thought he was playing San Diego State, refusing to believe that San Diego was a completely different team.  Told that San Diego State had played in New Mexico on Saturday, he responded, “How did they get up here so fast?”

 

 

The two superstars have mirrored each other all season, usually with much higher point totals.  On January 28, Redick’s 40 versus Virginia were topped by Morrison’s 42 against Portland.  After Redick tallied 35 against Maryland on February 11, Morrison responded with 34 versus Stanford.  With the two inextricably linked, commentator Dick Vitale spent much of the Gonzaga-Stanford broadcast talking about Redick.  Making that game just like any other he works.

 

 

All season long, the two superstars have staged their duel while three time zones apart.  This competition may be the most famous cross-country rivalry since the East Coast – West Coast rap feuds of the 1990s.  Except that it’s between white guys.  Oh, and that murder thing isn’t part of it.

 

 

Some have likened this competition to the Mark McGwire-Sammy Sosa home run duel in 1998.  Like Redick and Morrison, those two captured the attention of America’s sports fans.  And like the college superstars did on Saturday, they could also perform badly on the same day.  Just remember them in Congress last March.

A Carolina-Duke Recap, In Iambic Heptameter

Duke’s J.J. Redick is well-known as a high scorer and deadly perimeter shooter.  He also has gained attention for writing horrendous poetry.  Much to the chagrin of UNC fans and Duke-haters everywhere, he’s been far more effective with the basketball than he is with a pen.  However, while my three-point prowess lags well behind his, I shoot fewer airballs with my verse.  With that in mind, here’s a poetic summary of last night’s North Carolina-Duke contest.

 

 

The game was anxiously awaited throughout Chapel Hill

An upset in the rivalry would generate huge thrills

 

Last year the hated Dukies won in Cameron by a point

Then Carolina’s rally made the Dome a rockin’ joint

 

The Heels made sure the fans would feel an even greater joy

When one month later they made a national champion out of Roy

 

But many thought the next campaign would simply go to hell

Since all the guys they knew were gone, except David Noel

 

The scene was different for the rivals just eight miles away

They became the favorites as Redick and Williams chose to stay

 

Another title for Coach K would drive Duke-haters mad

And he would truly make them vomit with those AmEx ads

 

So in November these teams had a different set of goals

The Devils were number 1, but the Heels were left out of the polls

 

But UNC surprised, with all the freshmen stepping up

They laid an egg at USC but beat UK at Rupp

 

Although they’re not the top dog, NIT-bound they just ain’t

With Coach Roy on the sideline and Tyler in the paint

 

But Redick’s been a superstar with 28 a game

Like Laettner back in ’92, opponents curse his name

 

His Dukies struggled at home against the Hokies and FSU

But only Georgetown took them down in their first 22

 

So Duke was a clear favorite in the matchup Tuesday night

But the home fans hoped to storm the court with feverish delight

 

Last year’s heroes Felton, May and Manuel were in town

But they just watched, and at the half the Heels were five points down

 

After the break their sloppy play caused Coach Williams to scream

“You’re killing me – stop passing the ball right to the other team!”

 

So all five starters came out with the Heels 17 behind

Roy even put Mike Copeland in – could he have lost his mind?

 

But the subs reduced the deficit and answered Coach’s call

Even Quentin Thomas didn’t throw away the ball

 

The starters then returned and proved to all the Heels weren’t dead

They crashed the boards and hit some 3’s, and soon they were ahead

 

The upset seemed attainable as fans stayed on their feet

But one guy spoiled all their plans for a party on Franklin Street

 

His first three years in crunch time, his shot attempts would brick

But this time Carolina had no answer for Redick.

 

He scored 22 in the second half for a total of 35

Now Morrison’s chance at the Wooden Award is no longer alive

 

The Heels did close to one after Redick passed into the stands

But next time when he lost the ball, it wound up in Paulus’s hands

 

Needing a three to tie, Carolina squandered its last chance

It’s moments like that the Heels could really use Rashad McCants

 

The Devils escaped after Danny Green’s last shot was off the mark

Now they’ll feel more hatred Saturday in College Park

 

There are no moral victories, but surely Roy feels proud

His gritty team will feel no fear in front of the Cameron crowd

 

But last year was the time for UNC to have the glory

They’ll be contenders again next year, but now it’s a different story

 

Like 2004, the Final Four is in the Dukies’ plans

So just like then, expect Chapel Hill to be filled with UConn fans

Vitale Comments On American League Playoffs

It’s still more than a month until college basketball begins, but Dick Vitale is always eager to be heard.  Yesterday he was asked for his analysis of the American League Division Series.  Here is an excerpt from that interview.

 

Interviewer:  Dickie V, the White Sox had the most victories in the American League, yet most observers view them as underdogs.  What do you think of their chances?

Vitale:  Oh, you gotta love the White Sox, baby!  They’re from Chicago, and you know who else is from the Windy City?  Coach K, baby!  So is his assistant, Chris Collins – somebody give that guy a head coaching job!  Are you serious?  Johnny Dawkins and Wojo on the same bench?  What an unbelievable coaching staff, baby!

Interviewer:  Yeah… uh, what about the Red Sox?  Will they be able to repeat?

Vitale:  I love the Red Sox too, baby, because “Red Sox” sounds like “Redick,” the best shooter in college basketball – bar none!  He’s automatic with the trifecta, baby…

Interviewer:  Okay, this interview has nothing to do with Duke.  Red Sox Nation wants to hear about David Ortiz, not J.J. Redick.

Vitale:  The Boston fans are special, but they can’t compete with the Cameron Crazies, baby!  I just love those wackos – 1800 on their SATs and they’re painting their faces and screaming like maniacs – you gotta love it, baby!

Interviewer:  First of all, you can’t score more than 1600 on the SAT.  Secondly, and most importantly, we’re supposed to be talking about BASEBALL!  Ugggh, what about the other series?  Will Randy Johnson and the Yankee pitching staff get the job done?

Vitale:  They call him the Big Unit, but you know who the REAL Big Unit is?  Sheldon Williams, baby!  He just owns the paint – a spectacular inside-outside combo with Mr. Redick!  And don’t forget about the diaper dandies Coach K brought in…

Interviewer:  For the love of God, if you go on for one more second about Duke, I’ll lose it!  Now… oh, why am I bothering… what about the Angels?

Vitale:  Vladimir Guerrero is a real PTPer, baby, a Rolls Roycer!  He’s super, scintillating, sensational!

Interviewer:  Finally, a comment that’s actually about baseball!

Vitale:  And Mike Scioscia is a real maestro on the bench, baby!  There’s no better coach in any sport in southern California…

Interviewer:  Okay, now we’re getting somewhere…

Vitale:  But that’s because Coach K didn’t go to the Lakers, baby!  And why would he ever leave Durham?  It’s a special, special place!  The tradition, the Cameron Crazies…

Interviewer:  That’s it, I’m outta here!

 

After the interviewer stormed off, Vitale continued to jump up and down, screaming about all things Blue Devil.  A group of men managed to fit him with a straitjacket and take him from the scene.  He is currently secure in a padded room, periodically yelling, “Coach K is awesome, baby!”