Monday, October 02, 2006

Dick Vitale Assesses the MLB Division Series

The NCAA basketball season doesn’t tip off until next month, but college hoops icon Dick Vitale is animated as always about the sports world. Also an avid fan of the other “b-ball,” Dickie V is particularly excited about the major league division series. He shared his thoughts in the following interview.

Interviewer: Dickie V, thanks for appearing with us. Let’s start with the NL East champion New York Mets. They cruised to the best record in the National League, but the Los Angeles Dodgers come into Shea Stadium on a roll. How do you see this series shaping up?

Dick Vitale: It’s gonna be super, scintillating, sensational! The Dodgers in the Big Apple – just like their Brooklyn days, baby! When Duke Snider was a PTP’er in centerfield! The fans just loved watching Duke in New York, baby! Which I’ll do December 21 as the Dukies take on Gonzaga in Madison Square Garden! It’s gonna be awesome, baby!

I: Okay…, but there will be plenty of time to talk about the Blue Devils later. Staying in New York, the Yankees are heavy favorites versus the Detroit Tigers. Does Detroit have a chance against the Bronx Bombers?

DV: Justin Verlander was a diaper dandy on the mound this season! And Jim Leyland did an unbelievable job managing that team. But he’s no Coach K, baby! The Yankees are just like the Dukies – everyone loves to hate them because they win, baby! And that lineup – are you serious? It all starts with Johnny Damon, which sounds like Johnny Dawkins - part of an unbelievable coaching staff with Wojo and Chris Collins! They’ll be flat-out awesome as head coaches, baby!

I: Dick, we’re supposed to be talking about baseball here. We all know how you feel about Duke basketball, but please stay on topic. Now…, the St. Louis Cardinals really struggled down the stretch. Can they recover in San Diego against the Padres?

DV: You gotta love Albert Pujols - an All-Rolls Roycer on the diamond, baby!

I: Okay, that’s better…

DV: But I have to go with the Padres and my favorite player, Mike Cameron! His name combines two of my favorite things – Mike Krzyzewski and the Cameron Crazies! The Cardinals have great fans, but they don’t compare to those wackos in Durham, baby! Such enthusiasm! And with perfect SAT scores – they even cured cancer and brought peace to the Middle East, baby!

I: That is completely ridiculous! What world are you living in? Ugggh, why do I even bother? Let’s just get through this. The fourth series pits the Minnesota Twins against the Oakland A’s.

DV: Frank Thomas is awesome for Oakland, baby! He’s the Big Hurt, which is what Josh McRoberts will be in the paint this year! You gotta love the Athletics, ‘cause they remind us that Duke is all that’s right with college athletics…

I: Okay, I’ve heard enough. This was just a waste of…

DV: But the Twins are my pick to hoist the World Series trophy, baby! Johan Santana is a special, special pitcher! And that home crowd will be a huge advantage, going bananas in Minneapolis…

I: Finally! Some actual analysis of the postseason – was that so hard?

DV: It’ll be celebration city in the Metrodome, baby!

I: Okay. Well…

DV: Just like when the Dukies cut down the nets there in ’92 and ’01! Hey, somebody call Christian Laettner! Somebody call Shane Battier! It’ll be just like Durham in the Twin Cities, baby…

I: That’s it! We’re done here!

The interviewer quickly gathered his things and left the scene. Vitale continued to scream, “Coach K is awesome, baby!” while bystanders avoided eye contact. Security soon escorted him from the premises.