Wednesday, October 18, 2006

New Slogans For the Raiders

Since a blowout loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl XXXVII, the once-mighty Oakland Raiders have fallen to the bottom of the NFL. For many years, owner Al Davis has defined the franchise with proud slogans such as “Commitment to excellence” and “Just win, baby.” However, in light of the team’s current futility, it may be time to replace those slogans. Below are some possibilities to consider.

Commitment to excrement

Just wince, baby

Sick of the A's losing in the playoffs? Not a problem with us!

Sweet 0 and 16

Art Shell? More like Art’s Hell

The Stanford of the NFL

Nothing escapes from the Black Hole - except for victorious opponents

Our quarterback is on his back more than Paris Hilton

Once it was Howie Long – now it’s 4th and long

We would go back to LA, but they want an NFL team

The Spirit of ’76 – the ’76 Buccaneers

Love giveaways? Check out our offense!

We’re owned by Al Davis, but play like Weird Al Yankovic

An errant toss, a fit from Moss, another blowout loss

Helping opposing players win your fantasy league!

We’re number 1 – in next April’s draft!

We don’t have Madden anymore, but we are cursed

If you thought Iraq was a nation in disarray, check out Raider Nation!

In addition to the slogans, the team’s logo should also change. The Raider figure is currently wearing an eye patch. Now he is demanding that his other eye be covered as well.