Monday, October 03, 2005

Postseason Baseball Predictions

With the regular season in the rear-view mirror, eight clubs remain on the quest for a World Series title.  In anticipation, here are my predictions for the major league baseball playoffs.


My Phillies won’t be part of the festivities.  This is what happens when you have to rely on a victory by the Cubs.  As the Astros clinched the wild card, profanities echoed throughout Philadelphia sports bars.  Because the Eagles were losing at the time.  Plus, Philly sports fans just like to swear a lot.  Most of them were unaware the Phils still had a shot.


Fox’s “All Yankees and Red Sox, All the Time” policy will be in effect.  If the Angels and White Sox win their division series, network executives will lock themselves in their offices and cry like babies.  Then they will regroup and show the ALCS – not the current series, but reruns from 2003 and 2004.


The phrase “They won’t apologize for being here” will be used as often as possible during Padres games.  And the Cardinals won’t apologize for ending their season.


The animated “Scooter” character will inexplicably be used on Fox broadcasts.  I have to think, the first time this thing was shown to Joe Buck, he echoed his late father: “I don’t believe what I just saw.”


Plenty of good seats will be available in Turner Field.  The Braves can’t possibly compete with Hawks preseason games.


The city of Chicago’s World Series drought will be mentioned at least once per inning during White Sox games.  A championship for the White Sox, on the heels of Boston’s victory last year, would mean that it’s the Cubs’ turn in 2006.  Wow, I almost kept a straight face while typing that sentence!


Tim McCarver will make a very insightful comment.  And will hammer his point into the ground for the next three innings while sprinkling in painfully corny jokes.  Viewers will beg for more Scooter.


Okay, I suppose you actually want me to pick the winners.  My prediction is the Cardinals over the Red Sox in the World Series.  My other prediction is that I’ll be completely wrong.  Play Ball!