Monday, October 24, 2005

Lessons From Philly

Sunday the Philadelphia Eagles defeated the San Diego Chargers 20–17 in a dramatic contest at Lincoln Financial Field.  Here are a few things we learned from this game.


The Chargers desperately need a running back.  The guy they had in the backfield rushed for only 7 yards on 17 carries.  Some very confused broadcasters referred to him as LT, but we all know that LT is in the Hall of Fame and consistently dominated the Eagles when he played.  Look for San Diego to start a new back next week.


Records held by Reading High School alumni are unbreakable.  It has been brought to my attention that the Chargers running back (apparently named Tomlinson) actually did pretty well in other games, scoring a touchdown in a record-tying 18 consecutive contests.  However, after the Eagles kept him out of the end zone, he still shares the record with Baltimore Colts great Lenny Moore.  Like myself, Moore is a Reading High School graduate, so I have the rare opportunity to work the alma mater into the blog.  Go Red Knights!


Hernias are good for setting records.  Donovan McNabb, playing through a sports hernia that will require surgery, set a team record with 35 completions.  This milestone was achieved in large part due to the next lesson…


The Eagles have removed runs from the playbook.  McNabb threw 54 passes, while Philadelphia only had 14 rushing attempts.  Excluding McNabb’s scrambles and kneel-downs, that number falls to 10.  Except for Brian Westbrook, look for all running backs to be dropped from the Eagles’ roster.


Crossing the country to beat a Super Bowl team once is a cakewalk.  Twice is pushing it.  On October 2, the Chargers routed the Patriots 41–17 in New England.  They were not able to accomplish the double in Philly.


NFL wide receivers want to be waiters.  After scoring the first touchdown of the game, Terrell Owens pulled out a towel and acted as though he were “serving” the ball to a customer in an upscale restaurant.  Chargers receiver Keenan McCardell mimicked this action after he caught a touchdown pass of his own.  So, if NFL wide receivers want to be waiters, and waiters want to be actors, then actors want to be NFL wide receivers.  Why not?  It got Cuba Gooding, Jr. an Oscar.


Playing college football is overrated.  San Diego’s star tight end Antonio Gates had eight catches for 72 yards and a touchdown.  Gates did play in college – basketball for Kent State.  However, he never played football for the Golden Flashes.  No matter what sport, he apparently favors teams with electrical nicknames.


False fire alarms are great for fourth quarter rallies.  With the Chargers leading 17–13 in the fourth quarter, an alarm was tripped on the club suite level.  As a result, a voice came over the public address system, requesting those present to exit in an orderly fashion.  What could possibly go wrong when a false alarm goes off in a stadium filled with 67,000 tense fans, many of them intoxicated?  In any case, the Eagles’ rally may lead to a tradition of false alarms when trailing at home in the fourth quarter.  As the Angels used the Rally Monkey, the Eagles will rely on the False Alarm Ferret.


Never rely on a perfect kicker in the last three minutes.  San Diego led 17–13 with 2:37 remaining when it lined up for a 40–yard field goal attempt.  Kicker Nate Kaeding had converted all 11 field goal attempts and all 22 extra-point attempts this season.  Naturally, Philadelphia blocked the kick and returned it for the winning touchdown.  Who didn’t see that coming?


I hope these lessons have helped you.  There’s no need to thank me – just pass along the knowledge to others.