Thursday, May 31, 2007

U.S. Men's Tennis & The Utah Jazz

On Wednesday, American men fell to 0-9 in the 2007 French Open, so the U.S.A. is completely unrepresented in the second round. The Utah Jazz fared better in the NBA playoffs, advancing to the third round. However, as hostile as Paris has been to male U.S. tennis players, San Antonio has been even worse to the Jazz. The Spurs advanced to the NBA finals last night, as Utah suffered its 19th consecutive defeat in San Antonio. While the tennis players try to forget Paris, the Jazz can’t help but remember the Alamo. Here’s a comparison of the U.S. men and Utah.

U.S. Men: Curse the name of Frenchman Roland Garros
Utah Jazz: Curse the name of Frenchman Tony Parker

U.S. Men: Had a tough week on center court
Utah Jazz: Had a tough week on the AT&T Center court

U.S. Men: Haven’t won a title in Paris since 1999
Utah Jazz: Haven’t won a game in San Antonio since 1999

U.S. Men: Too many balls hit the net
Utah Jazz: Not enough balls hit the net

U.S. Men: Argentina man beat Robby Ginepri
Utah Jazz: Beaten by Argentina’s Manu Ginobili

U.S. Men: Past greats included Pete Sampras
Utah Jazz: Past greats included Pete Maravich

U.S. Men: Want more attention from American sports fans
Utah Jazz: Want more attention from American sports fans

U.S. Men: Will wait another year to experience the second round
Utah Jazz: Made Tracy McGrady wait another year to experience the second round

U.S. Men: Michael Russell was eliminated by low-key superstar Roger Federer
Utah Jazz: Eliminated by low-key superstar Tim Duncan

U.S. Men: On clay courts, need more good men
Utah Jazz: At home court, need support of good Mormons

U.S. Men: Legendary John McEnroe never won the French Open
Utah Jazz: Legendary John Stockton never won the NBA title

U.S. Men: Won’t get to play Rafael Nadal
Utah Jazz: Rafael Araujo seldom gets to play

U.S. Men: In April, won a second-round Davis Cup series
Utah Jazz: In May, won a second-round series over Baron Davis

U.S. Men: Wish they could keep playing, like Venus & Serena Williams
Utah Jazz: Wish Deron Williams could keep playing

U.S. Men: Look to rebound from a hard spring
Utah Jazz: Look for rebounds from Matt Harpring

U.S. Men: Russia’s Igor Andreev took out 3rd-seeded Andy Roddick
Utah Jazz: 3rd-seeded Spurs took out Russia’s Andrei Kirilenko

U.S. Men: Long French Open title drought was once ended by Michael Chang
Utah Jazz: Long NBA title drought was twice extended by Michael Jordan

U.S. Men: Next round will not have James Blake
Utah Jazz: Next round will not have LeBron James in Salt Lake

U.S. Men: Score was often love-30
Utah Jazz: Carlos Boozer loves to score 30

U.S. Men: Two-time French Open champ was Courier
Utah Jazz: Two-time NBA MVP was Mailman

U.S. Men: Paris is more daunting than the hardcourt in New York
Utah Jazz: San Antonio is more daunting than the hardcourt in New York

U.S. Men: Less successful in France than Jerry Lewis
Utah Jazz: Successful in the NBA thanks to Jerry Sloan