Sunday, August 07, 2005

Jack's Acronyms: Clever or Knuckleheaded?

College football season is almost here, and USC looks to repeat after Unnerving the Sooners Completely in the Orange Bowl.  Unfortunately, the season doesn’t end with a playoff – the NCAA gives No Chance At All of that happening.  So we’re stuck with the BCS – a Bizarre, Chaotic System.  The Trojans are stocked with future NFL players – who says there’s No Football in Los Angeles?  Meanwhile, things will be extremely competitive in the SEC, whose top recruits were landed by Spending Extra Cash.


As football begins, it’s the homestretch for baseball.  Last year the Red Sox rallied dramatically in the ALCS before sweeping the Cardinals, and At Last, the Curse was Shattered.  The playoffs will be eagerly televised by FOX, although for them, Football is Outright Xanadu.  Garnering far less attention will be the return of the NHL, whose players comparatively have No Hope of Luxury.


November will bring the return of the NBA, in which Nobody is Beaten by Atlanta.  As for the college game, they’re still giddy at UNC, which was Uplifted by a National Championship.  The Tar Heel fans have no love for DUKE, where they find something Devilishly Unbearable: Krzyzewski’s Ego.  Fans around the ACC are also Annoyed by the Cameron Crazies.


So in this busy world of sports, what is ESPN’s thought process?  Every day, Showing Poker is Necessary.