Tuesday, August 23, 2005

So Long, Bob Huggins

The University of Cincinnati has ordered basketball coach Bob Huggins to resign by Wednesday, or he will be fired. This development results from university president Nancy Zimpher’s ongoing displeasure with the controversial Huggins.

Huggins has been the head coach of the Bearcats for 16 seasons. Whenever a long-time coach exits, it seems appropriate to comment on his legacy. With that in mind, here are the top 10 accomplishments of Bob Huggins as coach at Cincinnati.


10. The graduation of former player, um… there’s gotta be one, right?

9. 2nd round NCAA tournament appearance last March gave much-needed air time to underexposed Bearcat fan Nick Lachey.

8. Sent great character guys like Nick Van Exel and Ruben Patterson to the NBA.

7. Helped UC join the Big East Conference, which now has 38 members.

6. Enabled program to replace stale “alma mater of Oscar Robertson” label with “the place where all those thugs play.”

5. Enhanced Jerry Tarkanian’s image by making him look squeaky-clean in comparison.

4. Players’ absenteeism from classes helped keep student-teacher ratio low.

3. Never let the consumption of a 12–pack stop him from giving you a ride home.

2. Endeared himself to upset-hopeful bracket pickers as his highly-ranked teams reliably tanked in the 2nd round.

1. Players’ off-court activities kept employment levels high in the Cincinnati police department.


Bob, if you’re reading, feel free to put these on your resume.